Premature Pouring: Why They Think I am a Kuku To Pour Fastest

There are two girls in this beloved country that thinks i am either the most prematurest ejaculator  alive or that my bladder is just but too loose.

After finishing reading for my degree in Ms Word and Dos, i took time before i was written in any job.  But later on, i had a short stint in in a certain company as a trainee manager.  In one of the department, there was this lady from Ukambani region. She was cute though short. A complete yellow in color and legs are so straight and thutha is good. She looked like Avril exactly, even size if you want to have clear image of her, although one centimeter shorter. She is one of those chicks that looks like sun but when she talks, you first search around to see who is talking behind her because of a very very very strong mother tongue accent.

On the first weekend when i was paid my first salary of 18k tax free because i was on contract, i decided to eat her and shut her up. She had kind of falled in love with me. I dont know what i used to tell her or she used to see in me but she really really loved me. I did not love her even one 1% but i used to lie to her that i was also loving her back.  That day, i telled her that i want to do her massage somewhere in town. She did not refuse much because in the evening, i remember is seeing ourselves taking stairs to a guest house called Grand holiday Inn in down town Nairobi. I had done a research about the pricing and this was one of the cheapest then, at 1,200.

I still dont have clear image of what transpired after we entered the room but i remember ourselfs removing all her clothes. I had never seen such a spotless body before. I went into action, although those days, i was not sucking tiita but my finger was compensating. I worked her up until she tell me to enter. I reached for makobosto and rolled them down my josto. Then slowly, i pointed the josto towards her hole. As fate would have it, my josto did not even reach half way inside. Because of the too much hotness i get when going in, I poured. It was not just pouring, i kinda  fainted on top of her because i also pour too much. 

I felt so bad that i did not wait for josto to wake up for round two. I asked her we go home. Later after two months, she come to my house. We cuddled in the table room and when i take her to bedroom, when i enter, same thing happened. I poured again with no provocation and josto refused to wake up again. She did not look like she minded that but i refuse her to come to my house again. Every time,  i give her excuse not to come. All this while, i was still eating people and i was not pouring that first. After a while, we lost each other because the company where i was working moved. Dont ask me where they moved to because they did not tell me where they moved to. 

One year or so later, i met a pupil of a certain college which is now university. Her face was like Tomato, very soft and she speak good english with no mother tongue.  We became friends and used to talk once in a while. One day, she call me and tell me she want me to take her to Kahuhia girls in Murang'a to visit her sister. My car could not reach there because of its age, so i called a friend of mine (not Theuri), and he give me his Toyota Celica Sports with loud music and Exhaust pipe make many noise.

I drove her all the way to Kahuhia girls and i did some small shopping for her sister. One our way back, i tolded myself i must eat that person. We entered Thika to a place to have a bite. While having a bite, i borrowed trickily but she say she cant. It is not easy to deal with this college pupils. They behave like they dont want to be beaten tree but inside, they are yearning for the full tree inside and pumping hard.  I convinced her we take a room upstairs and have a small rest before proceeding back home. When she agreed, i knew i hate eaten somebody.

We entered room and romanced. I had bought Makobosto by secret and put them behind pillow. I did not want an instance where i must eat person and there is no makobosto. We romanced and  and romanced until she moans and remove all clothes, except thong (it was first time to see somebody with thong. I was looking at thongs hanged in shops and wonder how a girl put them on) and bra without my help. I convinced her that i wont do her, i will only let my josto smell or touch outside. She agreed and removed all, but on condition, i dont enter because her dates were not good.

But who is me, i rubbed it and rubbed it on outside until she gets on heat. After getting on heat, she tolded me to enter small. I told her i put makobosto so that i can rub well but she tell me if i put makobosto, i will insert all. I tell her i wont but she tell me not to dare because she knows if i put, i will enter all. Lefted with no option but to insert small with no makobosto, i went ahead and inserted small. Even before the head was inside, i felt my head start going round and round and my testicles contract, then pwaff.. i poured and collapsed on top of her.

She lifted my head with her hands and asked me "Wanjohi, ni kii? umemwaga?" (Wanjohi, its how, you have poured?). With many shame on my face, i just nodded. She then asked " ivo ndivo unamwaganga haraka? na umemwaga ndani?" (Is that how you pour very fast. And did you pour inside? ). I tried to tetea myself but denied that i poured inside. We dressed up and went home without talking to each other until half journey.

Two weeks later, i called her and told her we go to Kameme night at Carnivore. She was dying to see Mike Rua life life because all the way to Muranga, i played his naughty songs. I also tell her that there, she must see Tony Njuguna and John Kiarie of Redykulas who like drinking where Mike Rua is. She agreed. I knew this time, i will prove to her that i dont pour that first. 

After Carnivore, we went to look for rooms in Ngara and many were full. We found one very late after beating round all ngara. When in room, she tell me she is seeing but she must give me. She jumped into the shower and showered all traces of month.


For the first time in my life, i ate somebody with month. Although with Makobosto this time it was many water. I did not pour very fast but after eating the person, i was also full of month. All over my testicles and hips looked month and the bedsheets the same. She apologized for coming when raining but i tell her to rain everyday, she sounded sweeter and i dont mind rains.

I did not have another opportunity to eat her when not raining because my girlfriend confronted her through phone. She feared meeting me again, although two years later, i meet her looking more shine but with husband. But that thing disturb me for long because one girl i was eating for many times, i pour fast. Her hole felt like it had sands inside. Until one day she tell me "nikii wiitaga na nguku (Why do you pour like chicken). That is why, if i see a girl look like she is tight, or has sand inside, i take Vodka or Gin or a Minimum of 8 Summits. This way, i will try to pour but cant. Until i bring another figure on my face to think that i have started eating somebody else. And thats wanjohi for you.

I remain,


Wanjohi Wa Kigogoine.