Friday, September 7, 2012

When The Hunter Became The Hunted

There are things that don't happen everyday. You cant sell Ice to Eskimos everyday. I have pulled persons off the street and climbed them same day. Many times, Martin Does it everyday. And Another pal who cannot be named because he can sue me Theuri has done it and Akuku too. And you too many maybe. Pulling persons off the street and climbing same day is no big deal. But what makes this story exceptional is because the hunter became the hunted.


I have told you before that I am a treasurer of ka certain chama. Since we are not formally registered, I keep money in my own bank account. Now, there is this persons that is written in my bank as cashier. In her head, she telled herself that if she enters me good, she can have a share in some funds that seems to lack use because they are even in my account. An year or so ago, she put it on head for me and later realised that it is easier to milk a he-goat that to get a cobo from me. The fact is, I am not gum, the money doesn't simply belong to me. She came far more when she said I add her a 100k to add to her savings so that she is loaned a car by bank. I refused to know and losted.


But as you are aware, the last few months have been very dry of persons but my josto hears none of that, total disregard of the financial and logistics involved. I thoughted of how I could help it and thats when I remembered the banker persons I upped tint for.

I thouted of mending fences and to mend fences, I had to go to her branch and withdraw some funds to show her that I was still there, strong.

There there, I went to Isich. As you all know, "muthici ungi ndamuthuire" (another climber does not hate. If you have climbed, you can climb again), she was elated to see me.

"ndoka guetha cia weekend" (I have come to remove for weekend) I said. I telled her I wanted to withdraw 40k but was not sure if it will be enough for all through the weekend. She telled me "na unjigirie miti itano ona nie" (put for me 5k) I said no sweat, she look for me in the evening.


Having achieved what I wanted, I walked to the stage, whistling and my josto thanking me for making an effort to let it sleep inside.

As I was waiting to see which mat I will climb among the many unruly mats no 9, a person that looked like sun with nicely done hair, very hot, the kind that their looks only can give you an orgasms, but dressed like a granmother, long dress and rubber shoes approached me. She came and in heavy Meru accent, she said "unanjua commercial?"

I am always suspicions of people who ask me for direction. Majority end up to having hiden intention. Anyway, I said "ndio, hii mats zote ni za commercial" and gave myself shughuli.


When I entered a mat, she followed me and sat next to me. We didn't talk until when the conductor came. I gave him a hundred and told him to cut for two people. She smiled and said thanks. It is then that I realised that I could borrow number and maybe later, I take her to Ngara, buy her a very tight stretcher and a nice top, and shoes of two hundred, then remove her to men. They will do me thumps up for having a hot persons, I thought. You know a person is clothing. Most of these persons you see, if they go back to shags small, you will refuse to know. It is clothes that makes us equal.For that thought only, I heard my josto stretch until knee.


Small time, she started "Mimi naitwa Karimi, nimetoka melu. Nilikuwa nimenkuja kuangalia cousin yangu lakini nikapata alihama.." By the time she finished those words, a million thoughts had crossed my mind. I had filled myself that she was just another con persons that wanted me to give her fare to go back to 'Meru'. She continued

'sasa, nilikuwa nime win shality Sweempstanke ya 200k, na mimi sina hi ndi, nimefikisha 18 nyears njusi" (I wanted to burst with laughter because I had been washed by this Fake Sweepstate before. Another thought crossed my mind. Either this is a persons that knows me and she knows I had written about Charity sweestate ordea and she wanted to jog measure my devils. But it became serious when she continued

"sasa, natafuta mtu anipee half, 100k nimpatie hii nticket aende a nclaim hiso pesa kwa Shality njuu wamekataa njuu ya Hi Ndii"

She then removed the ticket and showed me. Because I wanted to play along and jog her small, I telled her in small voice "weee rudisha hio ticket watu wasione. Unajua tunaeza fuatwa na unyaganywe"

Quickly, she returned it in her small bag. I bit my lips, thoughted what to tell her. After a brief moments, I telled her "Ah!, sijui tutafanya nini. Hapa niko na 32k. aagg!... sasa.. lakini niko na pesa kwa bank, lakini itafika 50, haiezi fika 100k"..

She smilled and said, "wewe njalibu, hata kama ifike heighy k.

I replied "shida ingine, ATM ya bank yenye iko na pesa iko home. Sijui tutafanya nini?.

Small time, I heard devil started to whisper in my eyes. "boss, climb person. Nikii. You are a clever person. Show her news"

I turned and looked at her and said in her ear "Tunaeza shukia ngara, nikuache place hapo uningojee ndo niendee pesa?" She said she had no problem. I felt my chin hit by my josto coz of happiness. It had knewed it had eaten a person.

When we removed from mat, at Equity bank, ngara, I told her that the best place to wait for me is in a room because outside is not safe. She said no problem. I poured on myself.

We crossed over the road to some rooms called Travellers Lodge, nexst to Family bank. A room with no shower and toilet inside is 400 bob during the day. I knew this person was not worth more than that, no way I was going to put a value of more than 400 on her. I didn't want to waste money because it was Friday and I wanted to entertain the banker persons that used to allow me climb her in her own house.

All along, she was so much into her phone, sms after sms. In my head, I knew she was communicating with her accomplices. I am a clever person. Maybe she was updating them on how far she has entered a fala.

I paid room and as we were taking the stairs, I pretended I had forgotten to ask something. I boughted makobboso and ranup the stairs until room. You know, if you are entering room with a person and you hve not agreed about climbing, never show her that you are buying makobosto. She wont enter that room. Trust me. I have experience.

When we entered room, she first removed out to talk on phone. A few moments later, she came back smiling and in high spirits. I guessed the accomplices had advised her to remove so that they can steal better.

But her smile made me refuse to know. It hit me that maybe, she was directing her accomplices to the room so that they can hijack me and inert me in their car and demand for ransom. I knew I was not dealing with saints.

In heart, I started to say a small prayer "Lord, remember this money in my pocket is not mine. It is for chama, I only have it in my pocket for reasons I cant say. If it was mine, it would be in bank, not pocket. please protect me from any harm that might be directed towards me..." Before I could finish the prayer, she came to me and started touching me small and telling me 'Sweetie, si uendee pesa juu sitaki kuchelewa sana" She realised that my tree had passed knee length because of standing.

She smiled and said "Waa!, umenyonji ivo yote kwanini?!" without her Meru accent know. She touched my tree and commented that it was so tall and huge and she cant understand how it gets indie persons tiita.. I told her that I used to pull it with priers when I was small,that is why it grew so tall.

I started to touch her too small small, not sure if she will tell me not to, or that there is month. I started from waist, up up up, until i reached brookies. I unzipped her dress up from neck to create a good space to touch brookies.

I removed on very firm average brookie that has never been sucked by a baby and teased the tip small with one finger. She closed her eyes. Then, I puled myself towards brookie and inserted mouth and started to suck. With her dress still on, from the back, I uncapped the bra straps. Sucking with earnest. I sucked and sucked and she said mbus. I uzipped the dress piu and pulled it down from shoulders and it fell down. She then stepped out of it.

I first did not believe what I was seeing. She looked like a model, like those fake persons posted on Campus Divas for Rich Men. And she was on a g-string. That alone telled me that she was not from shags. These are Kabete persons. Infact I filled myself that she was not even meru. Ukuyu of Kabete. Persons from upcountry put mothers union thuruari and biker together. Since I had not removed any of my clothes, I felt my josto stretch too much until it almost teared my trouser. Fearing tear, I removed all colthes.

I made her to lie on bed again and lifted on of her legs and putted on my shoulder and started to tease tiita. All tiita area was clean shaved like my forehead. No shags mundu shaves!. With mbus accelerating, I returned leg on beg and moved to brookie agan, sucking as my fingers did the walking. I fingered tiita until all my hand looked like i had dipped inside water.

I wanted to measure her devil if she will tell me to insert makobosto, so I pretended to move on top. She asked "umevaa CD?. If you hear a persons that does not tell you to dress makobosto, know that she knows something you do not know.

When her crying became excess, telling me to come baby come, I removed myself from her grip and slowly, inserted makobosto.

I pushed the G-string aside and directed my zig zag on the entrance of her tiita. Before driving it in, she told me "Na sweetie ujue nilifanya kitambo sana, nikiwa form two. Sijai kuwa na mwanaume tena, kwa ivo, ukuwe mpole"

With heart, I telled her "You will go to satan for telling a lie like that. You were climbed latest last night. And when I was fingering, I could not hear any grip. If you have grip, I will go to satan"

I pointed my josto and slowly, drove it in, then letted it stay inside for two seconds before removing. The warmth I heard can only be compared with the tiita I have told you before that had sandpaper inside. Removing and returning, and removing and returning, and the tickling by the G-string made my nyees feel like trying to release pour. I did not want to pour so fast because I was also enjoying her mbus and the tickling. The tickling reminded me a time I putted a ring that had vibrator. So, to avoid immature pour, I had to think something evil.

I putted in my mind that after I finish shafting, I will get her accomplice waiting for me and force me in their car and demand ramson. But still, I felt like pouring. To put more evil thought, I imagined that by the time I finish, the 40k I had withdrawn will be stolen by the person because she had putted medicine in her tiita to make me sleep and I will not know what to tell Chama when they demand the money for mbuzi or project. That was so powerful because for the next 30 minutes, I could not pour. S I even got so tired of pumping, and told her to come up. She removed her G-string and put it under the pillow.

I lay facing up and told her to come up. Slowly, she came down on my josto, swallowing all of it, until nyee level. When the tree was firmly and wholly swallowed, she did three powerful spins until I felt like my tree will be cut and remain inside. She much have been an expert in the game that girls used to play called kuhiuria mbara.

I felt zzzzz and poured everything that had been stored in nyees, including those that had not matured.

She then slept on top of me for like two minutes.

Fearing that I might doze off and find myself without owners 40k.

I dressed up without bathing because that room was just a room. No bathroom.

I then telled her "ngoja nikimbie nilete hio ATM nitoe pesa. Ni kama 45 minutes juu ya jam"

If you are a thief, you will know when you are being stolen. When she saw me clearing all my stuff, including some coins that had fallen, she sensed I will not return. She told me in sad voice "Sweerie, si uache hio 32k nikaage nazo"

I told her there is no need for small small, and if i leve the 32k, I have no guarantee that she will be there. She said ' Si hata ufuunge na inje na uede na funguo?

I told her to have patient, deal is deal.

She said Ok sweerie, usikae. alafu, ebu nipee your number ndio tuwasiliane" I gave her Theuri's Airtel number and left to get the ATM. Theuris Aritel never enters, unles you are on his contact list. He has a ka Shina phone that filters who calls. But she attempted to call 108 times. It notifies you everytime someone attempts to call you. I know she wrote a million sms of abuse but sms also dont enter.

When I left, I thouthed that his group could follow me. So, I took a taxi from Total petro station until Westlands where I took a mat to town. That day, I felt so good. I had washed a wash wash. She thoughted she will wash me , but I washed her.

In the evening, I called Theuri and others and beated them stories. They were collected under the table because I lied to them that I even climbed kwa nyeni. I told them how my josto was looking like a taribo when digging muddy areas. But Theuri stopped me and said "Wahotire ri kuhaica mundu shoti ikirike imwe? ngoma! (When did you enable climb person more than one joti? Devil)

Next Story is about Gold digging Banker Digs hard Ground.


I remain,

Dagitari Wanjohi
Senior Gyno
Currently on Strike

37 comments:

  1. u r of devil u should have left her fare of 200, lol

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  2. nice read doc. washing the wash. hehe

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  3. OMG!!! This one made my frahiday "She said Ok sweerie, usikae. alafu, ebu nipee your number ndio tuwasiliane" I gave her Theuri's Airtel number and left to get the ATM. Theuris Aritel never enters, unles you are on his contact. He has a ka china phone that filters. But she attempted to call 108 times. I know she wrote a millino sms of abuse but sms also dont enter.

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  4. Ngai,ona kafare mundu..LMAO!!hii storo imenimada jo. u have broken my ribs dagitary

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  5. Saitani!! Reminds me when one tried to drug me in a Coast Bus

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  6. Budda hii niko juu sana.hehehehe

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  7. No no no this is not Wanjohi's writing style. Aca nindarega ti we waandika ino. I have refused to know. your English has suddenly become very refined and you seem to struggle to think in Kikuyu!!

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    Replies
    1. Yeah, I agree. This definitely not Wanjohi.

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    2. I concur, this is definately not wanjohi's style of writing

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    3. I totally agree with you. This is not wanjohi. Maybe wanjohi should spend a few minutes editing this stuff if he has no time to do the writing.

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    4. agreed.......this is not wanjohi!!!

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    5. I totally agree. Come out Wanjohi and refute that.

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  8. dagitari Wanjohi, Senior gyno, currently on strike..under the table

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  9. "In heart, I started to say a small prayer "Lord, remember this money in my pocket is not mine. It is for chama, I only have it in my pocket for reasons I cant say. If it was mine, it would be in bank, not pocket. please protect me from any harm that might be directed towards me" ehehehehehe! you'll go to satan

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  10. N dont up tint on us while we wait for the banker stori!lol

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  11. Small time, I heard devil started to whisper in my eyes. "boss, climb person. Nikii. You are a clever person. Show her news"..."Na sweetie ujue nilifanya kitambo sana, nikiwa form two. Sijai kuwa na mwanaume tena, kwa ivo, ukuwe mpole" With heart, I telled her "You will go to satan for telling a lie like that. You were climbed latest last night. And when I was fingering, I could not hear any grip. If you have grip, I will go to satan"
    bwa ha ha ah ahaha a ha hahahah ahah ahah ah aha hah you are of devil, leader

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  12. Do not up the tint on us again....Its great to have you back Doc.

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  13. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  14. "With heart, I telled her "You will go to satan for telling a lie like that."
    wanjohi muguruki wa fiu!
    nice to have you back though!

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  15. hahahahhahahahaha dagitari karogano kega

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  16. "Lord, remember this money in my pocket is not mine. It is for chama, I only have it in my pocket for reasons I cant say. If it was mine, it would be in bank, not pocket. please protect me from any harm that might be directed towards me..."
    The fact is, I am not gum, the money doesn't simply belong to me. She came far more when she said I add her a 100k to add to her savings so that she is loaned a car by bank. I refused to know and losted.

    Leader, u r of devil kabisa.

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  17. Kenyans and our culture of impunity. Somebody has has grabbed Wanjohi's website and made it his. The writing style is not Wanjohi's and the phrases are odd - they appear to be cut and pasted. The story is told in a hurry and the underlying humour is absent.

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  18. http://referraltask.com/ref.php?page=act/ref&invcod=211482

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  19. MANZE! aki wanjohi wacha kutupimia sasa hii blog yako nikama utamaliza hizi story vision 2030

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  20. "....SHE CAME FAR MORE when she said I add her a 100k to add to her savings so that she is loaned a car by bank. I refused to..."

    HE HE WANJOHI THAT IS THE MOTHER OF ALL TRANSLATIONS. i only wanted to copy paste tat on comment till i came down to this
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    ".....t is then that I realised that I could borrow number and maybe later, I take her to Ngara, buy her a very tight stretcher and a nice top, and shoes of two hundred, then remove her to men. They will do me thumps up for having a hot persons, I thought. You know a person is clothing. Most of these persons you see, if they go back to shags small, you will refuse to know. It is......" HE HE HE HAKIYA NGAI!! aty remove her to men &we'll THANK YOU?
    thot the climax was thea already....?.
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    ,BOTTOMLINE MORAL LESSON of the giant story
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    ."..... if you are entering room with a person and you hve not agreed about climbing, never show her that you are buying makobosto. She wont enter that room. Trust me. I have experience....." AHSANTE SANA!
    .
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    .bt am sure guyz you never believed this...?angalia hypothesis kama "WHO DO YOU GIVE NUMBER AND REFUSE TO FLASH IN YOUR PRESENCE NOT UNLESS YOU PRETEND TO RU AND I THIS CASE HE MUST HAVE BEEN DRESSING???mmmh 1+1
    1

    HEY yenyewe thats reason enough you are lost and i'd missed this,..... hata wakathango bado yuko

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  21. ati you even told kina theuri u entered kwa nyeni!! dagitari!!!!!

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  22. After reading this, came to realise some dude out their is trying to copy Wanjohis style but iko down. I have read this blog since it started so who ever wrote this should step up or stop writing..period.

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  23. why are you calling this guy wanjohi?this just isnt him.wanjohis persona is,naive,consistent,backward and"giantish".this impersonater knows quite some english,is a pretty inconsistent liar and isnt in the usual wanjohi environment.i can break it down with examples if you wanna....

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  24. Wanjohi did the PM discover you and started climbing your blog...This is not Wanjohi....this is an imposter who is not use to being haishwod..climbed...

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  25. http://EarnPerHit.com/?invcod=53096

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  26. fala sana i thought you have stopped writing this blog and ata mimi ni fala still coming back to this blog its like a drug,do you know if coast general alcohol/substance and wanjohi blog rehabilitation unit still has space

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