How We Got Climbed By Bar Business.

Warning: This has no muclimbano scenes. Only real business. 

I told you long time that i started a bar biz. It failed miserably, and if you are plannig to start the same, I hate to be a carried of bad news but that how it is. Chances are, it wont see its 3rd year. That also applies to all small businesses. But i didnt say that, its the statistics.  But people learn from mistakes of their own and others, so maybe you can learn one or two things that we did wrong so that you dont repeat same mistake and hence, be one of the statistic.

Initially, we wanted to set it up in Gachie because, after observing, Gachie has no standard bar. Rwaka has but Gachie has nothing to show.  If you guys have no idea where Gachie is or what it is made of, you should try and go there and order for Nyama. After the Nyama is ready, some residents will appear from nowhere, wash their hands and order Ugali for your Nyama. They will eat with you till it is finished then ask you to pay for the Ugali they even ordered. Some, however are reasonable, they will pay for Ugali which now cost 30, up from 20 last year. If you attempt to prevent them from eating your Nyama, it is you that will not eat that Nyama. All people of Gathie have one common disctinctive feature. They have one or two teeth missing. If you have all your teeths with you, then you dont come from there.  Dont ask me how they loose them but your guess is as good as mine. Again

I was advised that since i am a Mukombori (renter), the locals will be coming to bar and order for 'Thika Road' or 'Worsops' and ask me to pay. If i refuse or hesitate, the punishment would be to have two or three of my tooth removed by a 'professional' dentist. The professional dentist is probably a retired kidnapper or a former accomplice of Matheri. I was also told that if i wanted to target people that give me no trouble, then i should sell Busaa. I was told that it is second Kawangware of Nairobi. Whatever that meant i dont know.

I was not ready to have my dental disfiguired, so i settled for a less favourable estate i will not tell you because the bar is still there and is an example of a failed state. In that estate, there are more bars than houses, so you can imagine the competition.

We identified a bar that was being sold by a guy relocating to Mombasa. We agreed and after parting with a tidy sum of money in cash, we sat and happily waited for customers. We called our friends and tell them that we are now big boys owning a big bar in Nairobi. We did mathematics of how many customers we would have per day and among the customers we were counting on were our over 100 friends combined, so we thought, everyday, we would sell 100 x 4 beers,to the minimum. We have never been so wrong. The people we thought were friends that drink everyday would come and drink on bill and stay for 3 weeks without coming. Not knowign they are not paying, some of them would come and even buy for other patrons and later call the waiter and say " ee tarehe karamu saine haha. ino ngariha rucio" (Bring pen i sign bill. This one i will pay tomorow) The only good customers we had were people living in that hood. But they were never drinking there because they wanted to but because they knew that we buy rounds without ending when we get drunk. So, when we were not coming there, none of them would come to drink there. Others would come drunk and only drink one beer ati for putting sign.

We decided to change tactic. We asked Theuri, who did a degree of drawing houses in university  we asked him to come up with a strategy that would bring people flowing. This was the lamest of all i have ever heard in my life.  One, every Friday, we buy Nyama for all our clients. Another strategy was, we identified 5 beaufitiful chicks from the neiborhood and we wrote them 3 beers per day each. That, according to Theuri, they would attract men in the club. It did work for sometime yes, but sooner than later, all the guys that were attracted to those ladies married the chicks or put stomachs on them. Once they get stomach, they stop drinking and once they get husband, they all disappear. We did away with that and started thoughting how to move away from that business.

The other problem was the counter girl. She was called Mueni. Since the wholesaler of hard drinks were just next, she would buy her drink and sell them, so our stock remained intact, maybe selling very few per week. Then there were those expensive drinks called Johny walker black label we had buyed. Later, when we were closing, we realised that all the content had been drunked and replaced with water with salt. Ifact even some beer, they drink and put water with Omo.

Mueni, like most Kamba girls was very beautiful. Theuri made mistake and started eating her many times. Me i eat only once, that of eating and removing yourself from there Theuri would even eat her inside the premise and later drop her home. So, at the end of the day, she was like a shareholder. She used to make some decision that left some of us dump. She would fire a waiter and hire another one. When i ask how comes, she say that waiter only talk with male customers and get climbed by customers.

It reached a time the business could not pay itself and we were returning in pocket to pay for the rent and stuff. When a business start asking for money, the best thing to do is to sell it. We tolded all brokers around there and even advertise in classified ads. We say we want One million, goodwill included and all stuff inside, including the waiters.

People were coming from left and right. When they come, they ask why we wanted to sell and we tell them we are relocating to the US. We had even cooked very good record and we tell them it can do better if owners give it better supervision.  People would bargain and say 800k and when we tell them bring, they say tomorrow, others they will ask for loan from bank. But the buyers would crawl back in the evening and see only 3 customers.

It went on and on until we stopped going to that bar because you only get sad when there. You only find it is only 6 customers drinking and they are sharing a KC and the other one is drinking Soda and chewing Miraa.  As time wented by, the deposit we had put expired. We refused to pay and tell owner he wait until we sell it but he refuse to hear. We refused to go back to pocket and when the owner become more bitter, we tell him to take his house, we dont want it. We tell him even counter he should take and cook ugali with it and use bottles and chairs to pay for unpaid rent.

Exactly two weeks after we return the bar to owner, one woman come from Europe with many money. She wanted to set up a business and she was told there is bar being sold. When she viewed the bar, she say it is good and paid a total of 500k to the owner for counter and bottles and seats. The owner destroyed our name so much to her by telling her that we failed because we drink all beer with our friends and people of trap. The woman thought we were foolish and smiled on inside that she had fallen for a good deal. She come and renovate the premise, put tiles, put new tables and seats and it looks like town bar until her money was finished. She spent like 1.5m on renovation. Inside her mind, she tell herself that she want to make it strippers bar. Then once man come and tell her " mh. niwaritie na subu shifu? na OCS? matingitikira strippers club residencial area" (Have you talked to the sub chief? and the OCS? they cant allow a strippers in residential area) She said ok, she will make it normal bar.

When it was time to officially re-open the bar, she called John De-Methew so sing. People filled until others stand until morning. Tomorrow of that day, nobody comes and she call another singer. She did that until her money finish. She had not even finished to pay for contractors and after a month, contractors start to bring stress until she does not come to that bar again.

She come with her car and park far and watch and watch and see no customer go in. She stay for three months and sell only one crate of beer per day. She get stress and go back to the Great Britain to look for more money. As we are talking, the bar has had 5 owners since that day and all sell because they are 'relocating' to USA or have been tranfered work to Mombasa. Biashara ni ngumu.

If you are buying a business, dont take those words, ati, i am moving to another city, ati, i have three business like this and i want to concentrate more on the others. Chances are, they are selling that business because if fails.On the other side of the coin, the owners could be bad managers and hence falling business. Maybe if you can make a better manager, you are in for a deal But it doent happen all the time.

I remain,

Wanjohi Wa Kigogoine