Like it or Not..Fly Women Rule Our World.

I know you have once done something weird for a person of out and years later, you hit your head against the wall and ask yourself, what was that i did, did i have good head really? It is Theuri that reminds me this story yesterday.

Back in the days, i expanded my simu ya jamii biz to selling stolen phones. Then, opened a branch where i was selling anything sellable, from Cds (not makobosto), to video tapes and thongs, pampers of month,  all in one stop.  In the original shop, it used to have a big space and seats, so all idlers in town used to come and eat njaro there.  One of the njaro eaters was one young person of out called Shiro. Shiro at that time was one of the most beautiful girls with golden
voice. She looked like Cecelia Mwangi, although black. Cecilia is the lady that removes jiggers of people of Muranga. Sadly, nothing last forever. I saw Shiru the other day, she has beaten like Matatu of Lungalunga.   i couldnt agree more with Kamaru that sing this song, "tumaguru tuu tuaki uretiya natuo, muthenya umwe tugakorwo na miatuka.. tata  tatattaa ...(you see those legs you boast with, one day they will have cracks) when i see her. I first ask where i see her before. It is only after she talk that i place her voice.

At that time, this girl was above my class, just like the other one i told you that made me climb her by force. I did not find the guts to borrow but after we get used to each other and after buying her several lunches from women that hawks food in offices, i gained courage and borrowed.

This was the first hole that i eat not believing that i am actually the one eating. I must confess to you that for once in my life, since i was borned, i had never climbed sombody four shots within a very short time. That was the first and the last time. I was pouring and when i remember what i have in bed, the tree stand again without waiting. These days, once i pour, it take me another century before my tree stand again, unless you look like sun or you play with my riang'a until it stand.

If you have beaten like me, there is a trick you can do though, according to Akuku. If you pour, dont remove josto from inside. You will feel bad yes, and bored, but let josto stay inside. Tolerate and after 10 minutes or so, it will stand and you will eat somebody for many minutes non stop. But if you pour and remove, riang'a will take time before waking up and you will sleep only to hear yourself in the morning when women that ask for bedsheet knocking with madharau and force. But that only applies when you are eating somebody without makobosto.

Today and even then, i hear people say "ndirahaicire mundu ucio shoti mugwanja" (I climbed that person 7 shots) and see as if its miracle.  The reason they pack condoms in 3 packs is because they know the maximum you can climb somebody is three shots. I always tell my pals that say they climb somebody until condom finish or seven shots that,  either, they dont know how to count or they dont know what a shot is. A shot is not when you remove josto to change position or the number of thrusts. You know even when pouring, it does not come all at once, it come stop small come again then finish emptying. That is not three  shot because it beats break three times.  A shot is the number of times that you pour. I stand to be corrected though.

After climbing shiru, its like my business became her business too. She would come every morning, make as many calls as she want, and mostly to men. Then in evening, pass and ask for fare. One day,  Theuri pass at the shop and see the lady. He ask if its my woman and i say yes. I dont know how they got friendship but few days later, Shiru stop coming there everyday. She even stop asking for fare because Theuri was now giving.

Later, as i came to learn, Theuri take her to his house.  Those days because we were not married, we used to take people of out to our homes. Theuri  ramnyas things and even introduce her to a kiosk where she can pick keys when she want to come visit Theuri. Although Theuri had a fiancee, he stay with Shiro in his house for one week nonstop. But Theuri and Shiro were pretenders. When he come to the stall, they pretend like they were strangers. In his mind, i know what song was playing "eka uria wikaga, riria warakara, muhiki waku, uria wandigiire nindamuhaicire" (do what you do when you get angry, your woman that you leave for me i climbed)

Persons of out are sometimes clever or we are sometimes stupid. She drew something very tactical and we all enter her box, all within 3 or 4 days. One day, she tell both of us, although separately that she want to set up a biz. We ask which biz and she say to sell tapes (movies were sold in tapes those days. Dvds and Vcds was saying bad).

She telled me that Theuri has agreed to donate his home video deck to her for  starting the movie biz. She tell me i contribute so that she hire a table in one of exhibitions. A table was rented for 300bob per day. She also tell me Theuri give her 15k for stock.i Hesitated and she did her thing as usual, giving me her hole.
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In the shop, as i told you, i was doing the same business. The Satan works in mysterious way, i tell you. After giving me her nyaps in the evening, she tell me "riu wanjohi ri, ndukihe space iyo yaku ya movies tondu mbeca ici citingiigana gukombora metha na nie ngurihagithie nyumba" (Wanjohi, give me that space of movie because the money i have is not enough to hire a table and we pay shop together).

I did not return and to me, i see this is one of the wisest thing i have heard in long time. We agreed i give her the space i was selling the tapes and we share rent. I also told her i give her the vcd machine (for testing cds) and a 14" Akila tv and the stock that was there. She tell me she will pay for the stock later when she stabilizes.  I also give her 8k (and it was alot of money to me then) to add to stock.

Tomorrow, she go to Theuri and sleep there. In the morning of that other tomorrow, she some with video deck and small stock. I tell the person i had written that the space had been rented out to somebody. Everybody was shocked on what i was doing but i tell them to shut up.

That morning, Theuri was sended to Nakuru by the company that write him to do business. Shiru, since she had access to Theuri's house go and 'take' iron box, his 21 inch TV and Meko gas. She put them in taxi and come to that shop and take the the Akila TV and the deck and the Vcd machine and part of the stock she had boughted. When i go to that shop later, i find no my things. I ask the person i had written whats cutting and she say Shiro had taken all. 

I call Theuri and leave job and come. When he go to his house, he finds he had been washed all imprtant things. Even the cheque book. We did not know where to find that lady. It is that time that Theuri confess that he had eaten her many times and had shown her where to take keys  and milk in kiosk near his house.

Just as we hold our chin in anger and shame, a man come to that shop. He stay in Eastleigh and say he is looking for Shiru because shiru bring him there one day claiming it is her business. He tell us that Shiru was his person and he give her money to do business but came back to his house when he went to job and take his TV without his consent. When we tell him we have also been stolen, he get surprised because Shiru tell him that he is our sister. But God comes just in the right time. He tell us he know area where she stay but not house. We wented to that place and since she was very beautiful, it was not hard locating her house. We go to her house and find her and her sister. She cries and apologizes and takes us to where she sell things in Ngara.

We take police of Chief of ngara and claim our goods from the buyer of stolen goods. We get our goods and take them home. The buyer removed from backdoor because Shiru did not return money. When those police of chief tell us they want to lock her up, we all look at her beautiful face and big buttocks and forgive her. Shiru telled us she come from Muranga but later we come to know she is from Kabete. Its hard to find woman of Muranga doing kihibirania on you. Onyl Kabetites do that. Very clever people. That is just a tip of how extremely stupid men can go just for a pussy.i know yours is more stupider or maybe, you still dont know you are being climbed.

If you read my blog  and look like sun, i have valuable advise for you. If there is a man wanting you and is showing off his money, eat his money as much as you can. If a man can give you 10k, he can give you 20k,100k and even a milli. Pretend that you love him, give him a good climb, suck his riang'a and drink the yogurt. (I hear that if a woman loves you to death, they will drink yogurt like nothing). It will work miracles. You will look for me to thank if you follow my advise. If you ignore me, one day you will be weathered, people will just pass you like you are shadow and when you need to be climbed, you will have to pay small men or gigolos for those who know english to climb you. Its an advise anyway.

To my fellow men, if you have ear hear. If you see woman want your money, pretend you will give the whole world to her. When you climb, climb as many times as you can. But when it comes to time of delivering the world, look for the nearest exit and fly to the next available hole. But for Theuri, because he doesnt want to see me holding a woman, i wish he meet a cleverer woman that eats his money and when he go to room, the cow refuse and refuse and refuse.


I remain,

Wanjohi Wa Kigogoine