Stolen By Charity Sweepstake And Change Dollar Thiefs

If you have never been stolen by two Meru boys that steal with Charity sweepstake tickets and another group of three boys of Kamba origin that steal by changing dollar,you have never been stolen. To find out more,  read on. Its a bad experience, but you laugh at youself after getting stolen.

I am a very ambitions fella from Kigogoine and when i see business deal, i dont left it. I was first stolen back in 2002 by sweepstake 'Meru' mboys and in 2004 by 'dollar' boys  and i hear  there are people that are still alibabwod by this boys todate. The most hilarious and stupid one is for change dollar.

One day in town, a mboy of Kamba origin come to me. He ask me if i know places that change dollar to Kshs. My reflex action to such a storo is that i am being approached to be stolen, so I look at boy and want to ask him if he see if look like i am google but change mind. I ask him how much he want to change and he say he has $1000 usd. He goes on to tell me that his cousin work for White people at Muthaiga and that he often get tips but in form of dollar from visitors of America. He tell me he had carried several with him for samples. I ask him we enter hotel and talk more. He give me 50 usd in 1dollar notes each. I tell him dollar change for 40 (it was actually changing for 75 at the time). He tell me, since the boy that has the remaining $1000 is stupid, i tell him they change at 20, but i should add 5 shilling per dollar for him as his commision.

I agree. I told him to wait for me as i took the 50 dollar  to change in bureau. I was abit cautious, just incase they were fake, so once inside,  i stand near door ready to sprint, incase the cashier tell me i give her fake dollar or i see her take telephone. To take telephone would mean she's calling the police.  The cashier counted the dollar and gave me the equivalent in Kenya shillings. I saw there is business and rushed back to the boy. I had actually left him in  a hotel far in Rive rroad, so that he does not know where bureaus are and decide to change himself. I wented and gave him his share and started thinking where to get money to buy the remaining 1000USD.  Since i did not have money, i looked for a friend that had money and sold him the idea and he agreed. We went to the boy with him and agreed to carry enough to give to the boy because he cannot release the dollars without money. Since we were changing at 25, he carried 25k.

That morning, i wake up very earlier and go to Maximum miracle centre for morning devotion. I pray and thank God in advance. When Pst. Muiru preach, he say that there is two people that dont have money but by mid day, they will see money with eyes. He say if you think you are the one, you plant the little you have and see what God will do. I did with the last 100bob i had and left in confidence.  I picked my friend and we wented to Muthaiga with the boy. Once near the Muthaiga Golf club gate,  he callledl the cousin that had the dollars. The boy emerged from Muthaiga Golf club gate and handed us the dollar, nicely folded and tied with band. We handed him  the Kshs. Once he take money, he ask if our money is complete because if not, he will bewitch us, but we assure him it is. He say we cant count there because the bosses might see him out and might even rub him work.

We take our bundle of 1 bill 1000 dollar notes and went to town and headed straight to Jazz bar to count the dollars. Before removing the bank, we ordered for juice as we count the dollars. The investor friend that bring 25k was the one with the bundle, tightly tucked in the josto area. He tell he, since he was very saved by Jesus Christ, he will remove 10% tithe from the profit. We were to share the profit equally.. that is the Kshs.a 75,000. I also say in heart that i will take 5k to church during lunch hour and go infront and give testimony that i was one that Pst. Muiru say in morning.

He removed the blunder from the folded notes so that we count the money. What happend almost made us scream in horror. There was only 5 , one dollar bill. The rest were well trimmed photocopy papers. Two dollar were on top of the trimmed papers and three dollars at the back.

We look at each other for 10 minutes without talking.  We want to cry but cannot. I pinch myself to see if am dreaming and i feel pain, so i know am not dreaming. With our killer instinct activated and all time high,  went back to Muthaiga and tell the watchment at gate to show us the boy that is called Makau that work there. We narrated what happened after telling us there is no boy called Makau. He laughs and tell us everyday, there are 3 people stolen  like that.  We went dejected and I promised to pay half the amount we lost when i get job but he say' its ok, cia arume ciuragira kuingi ( its ok. Of men get lost in many places.) Even today when we meet, we remember the story and laugh. If we meet those boys today, we would buy them Allsorps until morning and congratulate them.

Another time, around tea room area, two boys approached me. They talk in deep Kimeru Accent. It was around 6 PM, they tell me they have come all the way from Meru. They tell me they are in deep trouble because they won 100k in sweepstakes, they come to claim money, but they is late, the offices are already closed and have no money to sleep in lodging.

I look at the sweepstake and see its true, it has won 100,000. They wanted me to lend them money or take them to my house and tomorrow when they claim money, they will pay me handsomely. The other one tell me if i have money, i can give them half,  that is 50k, then i claim to the charity sweepstakes myself.

The Alibaba in me tell me that i can thiefl from the boys. I tell myself : "wameru ni wanjinga. naweza waibia hata ticko yote t since Merus dont come to Nairobi, they have enough green gold in the village, they would accept any price i name". I tell them i only have 15k. We argue and last, they accept 20k. It was end month and was going to pay rent to landlord. After giving them the money, i tucked the ticket safely and went home straight, happy. I start remember i owed a friend 30k and he call everyday with no peace. I call him and tell him he has no manners and should come to the office tomorrow to collect his just 30k. I tell him he is silly to harass me for a small dept of  30k.  When i get home, landlord agent come and i tell him he should never ever come to knock my house because of rent. I tell him i will pay to their account tomorow.

Tomorrow morning, i go to Kenya Charity and tell them i win 100k. They ask for ticket. One man look at ticket, look at me, look at ticket again and ask where i buy. I say i buy it in town last night. He asks again if i am sure i am the one that buy and i insist its me. He ask me to come in the office.

I wait and wait, thinking they are counting money for me. Then two police come and say i am arrested for forgery of Charity sweepstake ticket. The police take me away to  Central police and i tell them the truth. They laugh and say they know the case is many, but i have to sleep inside to be lesson to others. They tell me the boys are not even Merus. They come from Kiambu. Hapa tu.  That is why i say, Kenya police are jinga sana. I lost my 20 k and spent a night in cell. Jinga sana tena. It is another big storry of what happened to the guy i owed 30k and the landlord.

I once told you that i operated an old taxi business after finishing form 4 and failing in slaughter business. I have been stolen by customers many times but the biggest was when i wanted to upgrade to a new taxi. I thought i was clever to import a car with borrowed money. I will tell you the horrible experience tomorow plus other stories of how i use to climb women that i carried in my taxi. People brought their girlfriends i drop them home only for me to eat them proper. Although i promised not to writel muclimbano stories again, i think you might like them or learn something so that next time you give your girl to taxi driver to be dropped, you will have idea of what happens. Chances are, she will drop her pantie. Ndima climbite many times. All starting from tomorrow

I remain,

Wanjohi wa Kigogoine.