Monday, April 11, 2011

Borrowing the Ancient Way: Kukumanga escapad

One time when in secondary school called Kagumo secondary, pupils of other schools come to our school for playing games. Me and one friend of mine we called Dobidobi had drawn that we must eat some girls come what come may. Dobi dobi came from Majei area of Nyeri town. He was named Dobidobi because when he drink bangi, he sing the song 'dobidobi' word to word. One day in form two, he tell me to drink bangi if want to be top pupil in class. He tell me, 'you know Karis, ?' I say yes. ' why do u think he is always on top. Its because he drink bangi. If you drink bangi, it will show you to read and you will be top'. I almost bought his idea because my number was always one hundred and something until i discovered he was always on tail.

Dobidobi was not a good borrower of things, but he was never short of ideas after drinking one muthogoto of bangi. He had telled me that one girl from his village was playing hockey and had refused to give dobidobi in village and was due to come to our school for playing.. So, he had hatched a plan. He asked me if i was interested in the girls and said yes. He said if i want to eat one baby of Kangubiri girls, he can organize and i must eat, as long as i contribute in buying Kukumanga. Kukumanga, for those who dont know is the medicine that is used to make women horses go on heat. I hear horses that are women can never get on heat unless they get a good dose of Kukumanga.

When girls came to school, after finishing playing, he called the girl and told her to call a friend of her we go to Muhoya Dorm where Dobidobi stayed to drink 'cold power' and bread as they look at pictures of us in album. Cold power was mixture of cold water, chocolate and sugar. We wented to the dormitory and Dobidobi prepared the cold power. He then laced the drinks of the ladies with Kukumanga.

I started drawing what to do because dormitory was full of many boys in corridor. Word had gonned around school that Dobidobi and Wanjohi had girls in their cube. We called one guy who was dorm mate called 'Shadow' to keep eye on entrance of our cube and prevent people from coming and peeping. He was nicknamed shadow because he was so black that you could only spot him after spotting his shadow. One day teacher come to class when electricity had run away and were using dim light and ask ' Who hang that shirt over there?' not knowing that it was person so black you cant see him in dark.

Assured that Shadow will keep all pupils at bay, i started touching touching the girl. Dobidobi was kinda dump, he was waiting for Kukumanga to take effect then he jump on her. Kukumanga i think doesn't take toll very fast or the dose was small because the girls were not getting on heat. I pushed my girl in bed and started caressing her small and almost non existence tits. She kinda got on heat but was too cautious. She said we cannot do today because her month was on corner.

I begged her to allow me at least one inch and promised i will not pour inside but could hear non. When we were reading during our time, there was no makobosto. Infact it was criminal to say word 'condom' She said it is not possible. I begged and begged and begged until i want to cry

'Tafadhari, nakuomba aki i wunt hurt you. mimi ukiniruhusu niingie, sitamwaga ndani. kwanza hata siftaingiza yote. Hata kama ni kuguzisha, ni sawa tu. Bora ukubali tu kidogo. iguze hapo kwa shimo'. One guy called Jonnie Kuhuta has told us before that women will say no even when she want to be climbed. He had said even if she say no, she mean yes. Dont expect her to say yes. you must fight your way.

I was on top of her with skirt hipped up and pantie still on. I took the pantie aside, then removed my josto and forced it in. Just when my josto was half inside, the girl started shouting

' oooi ngai fafa nimezaa, nimezaa. oooiii mwezi uko mbaya. oooi lazima nipate mimba. Aki wanjohi nitaambia mama nini na lazima nizae' (ooi God father, i have given birth. oooi the month is bad. oooi must get stomach. ooh Wanjohi what will i tell mother and its must i give birth)

'Dont worry, i wunt pour inside. please stay well well i insert all of it. ' i begged but she still was saying things. That time, pupils had milled around cube peeping how i was hammering somebody. The pupils were shouting ' Wanjohi chapa mtu kabisa' while clapping hands. When the girl hear pupils, she throw me out and clossed her legs together. I knew my game was over if i did not play smart. I told the girl if she refuse to let me in again, all those boys were waiting to eat her in turn and i can be the only one that protect her from those boys.

I begged her to let me go back to position i was in, put my josto half and i wunt even move it an inch once inside on inch. I begged her to just to let my penis feel wamth inside. Due to intimidation, she agreed. I shouted to the pupils to go away. I returned the josto in the position and immediately, the boys started clapping, others coming closer to watch. The girl throw me out again and disappeared in speed of Usain Bolt from Muhoya dorm. That time, i had not poured. I was feeling like i was being struggled in neck (ndaiguaga tari guitwo ndiraitwo mumero ini). I was too close to pouring and my testicles were all aching. I dont know if you know that stage, you are about to pour and you cant because the girl run off.

I took towel and went to wash my body with cold water. My tree was still standing, very straight and so was for the boys watching my action. There were like 40 pupils following me all asking how i was feeling as i have just done a girl. It was Dobidobi that called the boys to come see Wanjohi eating somebody after his girl failed to get on heat and left. I was so annoyed with the boys because they are the one that make the girl disappear. They follow me to ablution blocks and look at me as if i was president or a big actor they see on TV.

From that day, i know it is possible for a bird to fly even after all feathers are removed (niyumbukaga i mbute). From that day till today, when i get girl that refuse refuse, if she allow me to enter, i pour very fast, just incase she thinks otherwise in middle of action. I dont want that punishment again because my ball feel pain for many hours. Pain more worse than when you are kicked in the balls.

That day i was in form 3 and 17 yrs. The girl was almost same age and the story reminds me a song i hear by one guy called Franco wa Subu - 'Ni mwana uriku Njaji' At her age, she culd know she can get stomach, her days were bad. The song goes like this..

'Ni kwana uriku ui kuamukiria kiss, nimwana uriku uwi gukurira callender, tariki cia date ndangitiria mundu... ten tenennneeentnenen . (which baby know how to kiss, which baby know how to mark calender dates and cannot bounce a person..)
copy paste the url to listen to the song... >>>>

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b-akpNk45nw&feature=youtu.be

Has any of you ever been teriod like that?

I remain,

Wanjohi wa Kigogoine

23 comments:

  1. ' oooi ngai fafa nimezaa, nimezaa. oooiii mwezi uko mbaya. oooi lazima nipate mimba. Aki wanjohi nitaambia mama nini na lazima nizae'

    Aki ya ngai wanjohi unavuta bangi. niko chini ya meza. hahahahah

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  2. i love this blog... you have become my new must read. keep up

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  3. Thank you, @ Crystal. Keep it right here...

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  4. This is the craziest of all. Andu aya tigagai gutarura andu aria angi ugua.( People these be stoping to tear people others like that)

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  5. hahahah @ Sarah, hindi iyo ya tene gutiari makobosto (those days condoms were aliens..)

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  6. you sure have a talent. Tell you what, how about you register in www.supremacysounds.com and share your creativity there too? Once you register and post your first thread we will chart way forward from there.

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  7. @ Ben... thanks. I am your fun. Used to buy stuff at one of your shops along Tom Mboya..

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  8. Wanjohi,we must meet,i buy you 1 or 2 tojohi hehu.U have made my day.

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  9. @ idaonditi.. thank you. Napenda tuhehu sana. Hit on me.. anytime..

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  10. Hindi io gutari makobosto, kanda imwe ya kirinyaga yaitire cumbi wa nyina, igithii kuria kairitu na karatathi ga kensalt. (when there was no condom, one guy from kirinyaga poured his mother's salt and used kensalt juala kama makobosto to eat a girl) And he was reading in kagumo like you!

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  11. Eeh, Nimeshindwa na kufanya kazi. Wanjohi uko juu.
    Thats all i can say. I spend more time on this blog than twira and faceboo.

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  12. we ukwenda mahoya ma kirindi mundu.

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  13. Wanjohi kwani you were reading in Mururia secondary in Thika, because that is where we used to drink cold power.

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  14. hahahahah am raffin out raodry, wanjohi u r sic* me likey

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  15. Wanjohi kwani ulikuwa muhoya kama mimi.labda nilikuwa kwa hiyo crowd ilikuwa ina crap. yu are just a funny guy :)

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  16. that is good shit for a cold afternoon

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  17. Muhoya i remember that dorm though i was in washi. i love the blog kaggzerian!!

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  18. enyewe today you have killed it.kuna siku tulijaribu kupeleka wasichana LLT during prep tukashikwa na mbuchi njiani.and they had agreed to give us!!!

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  19. crazy but whats your level of education?

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  20. Hahaha, I passed same process hahah "Come Baby Come"

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