I have a problem with one lady that is written in Bank where i keep money. She is very beautiful and has big buttocks and is yellow yellow, does not smoke and drink little beer only, she is not thin (i am African, not Englishman, i like big things). We have gone to drink beer together three times now although i have never borrowed her things in seriousness. Reason is, she drink little beer and spend the rest time dancing as we eat stories with Theuri and Domingo dagitari wa atumia (gynacologist). She also get bored because when she come, she talk to us in English or Sheng, we return in Kisaps. That means, i hardly get god opportunity to borrow things and she cant get drunk to get confused. When 10pm comes, she say she want to go home because she stay with mother and father. If it was the time i was in school, i would have putted Kukumanga and i manga her, but i am now mature, i make woman love me so that we do each other.
That is not the problem. The trouble is, she has this misguided notion that Wanjohi is very rich man. Once in a while, i do broking business and ask people to pay in my account. So, sometimes account read many money, but all money is not mine. I am also treasurer of many tu many chamas and i deposit all money in my account. In essence, the account read good sometime but money not mine. In several occasions, she calls and says 'Wanjosh, nitumie thao pls' and i Zap it immediately.
Today in morning, and that is why i did not tell story today is, she write to me sms.
'Hi dear, i need your help. Ni update na 20k coz nataka kuhama na pesa zenye niko nazo hazitoshi. I need 20k or more for me to make it. Will you help me pls?'
I have not returned sms or her calls. Two minutes ago, she use another phone to call me and i picked. She tried to read for me for not picking her call but i tell her that i was in meeting. I promised to call her later. Problem is, i cant give or lend her that amount. She knows the balance in my account and i swear every single cent there is not mine.
Now, Wanjohi want to know, how to dismiss her request politely. Naomba usaidizi! And with all the advise, i will like the one that will make it possible for me to tear her this weekend or some other days and we still remain friend. She is crucial because when i want to withdraw money and there is line, i call her and she serve me in executive section of bank yet i am not registered there.
All advise will be appreciation.
Wanjohi wa Kigohoine