The Only Person Theuri Was Unable to Steal From Me

There is a saying in my village that says that "itari muting'oe ihuragwo ngi ni ngai" (those with no tails, they are wiped houseflies by God). I just remembered one incidence that happened to me when i had landed on foot that proved to me that that saying is so true.

There is this person i climbed many days and even today, her hole has remained a mystery to me. I think i have telled you about that person in my earlier stories. She is the girl i telled you that she sounded like she had sand in her hole. Very very rough terrains and hot. In all the cases i climbed her, i used to pour very fast. I used to climb her with makobosto before but when we got used, i hit the wall with makobosto so that i feel the terrain first hand. She complained and complained until she had to live with my fast pouring.. kuku style.  When getting climbed, she used to first lie down still and allow me to insert all josto inside. Once josto is inside, she let me try to get rhythm. I remove small, then enter again in speed. When she see i almost have rhythm and josto is well lubricated, she raises one leg up and put in my back to hold me against her firmly, then raises herself up small and twists her hips. That stylo, coupled with the sandy sandy texture inside her hot hole, can make even the person who have swallowed a full packet of viagra pour in two minutes. And to make matters worse, it invited everything stored inside my testicles, so, to get a second joti was so almost imposible.

Those days, i had not discovered Kamagra though.  But one thing i liked about her is that she liked me just like that. Even today, because she got married to a guy i know very well, although he does not know me, she call me many times. She tell me she still love me and says she want my josto again but only if i improved my pouring prowess.She had to get saved to marry that man, so i believe her saveness was just for njaro.. just to get a husband that is not spoilt.  Whenever the husband is away, she comes where we are drinking during day time and she kamatas two or three Tusker malts. I dont like that idea at all because the bible say, "he that will make one of my sheep lost, i will put Githii on his neck"  (unfortunately, i dont know swahili or english word for githii, but in long word, it is the machine that turn maize into unga).  I dont want any Githii on my neck, so, i have stopped picking her calls. I also dont want any temptation of eating her because it is sin to eat or even convert somebody's person.

It took me a while before climbing her and when i did, i did it in style. I say in style because i had landed on foot and most of my bills, it was Theuri that was paying. 

After finishing college,  she believed i was influential enough, or had enough friends able to get her a job. Although i known many people, none of them were capable of writing her a good job. But she kept on disturbing me. I then remembered my good friend Theuri. Although i fear Theuri will climb her before me, i decided to put the interest of the girl before muclimbano. I knew that if i helped her get job, one day she will remember me and remove Thuruari roho safi, without coercion or out of desperation.

I telled Theuri about that girl and he said if she is climbable, he will get her a job. I told him that that was my person and if he helped her, he has as well helped me. He said he will and also promised not to touched her or borrow her things. Theuri cannot be believed in some things, but i had to give him the benefits of doubt.

I introduced her to Theuri one Friday evening. When  she come, Theuri buys water like brewery is closing down. As we beat water, Theuri telled her that on Monday, she consider herself employed. But it was true, Theuri had called one guy who wanted a cute sales person of female origin. I dont know why people always want cute this and cute that. If you hear a person like that, it is the kind that climb people that they have employed. But i had no problem, as long as the girl benefited. I have climbed several myself, will beat the story to you later, but only that have drama to be telled here.

Tomorrow of that day, we were going to Meru to pay dowry for a friend's wife. I was getting lifted by Theuri because my Taxi could not reach Meru because of its age and again, when i was not taxing it, i used to give squad to drivers of squad. That meant, whether i am there or not, my taxi was still making small money.

From the look of things, i saw my girl and Theuri were entering one another so much. She liked all stories of Theuri. I knew in my mind that i had to do something very quickly so that Theuri does not eat the person before me. When Theuri go out to go to latrine, i pinch the person and say " uyu ni mumaraya ariangi makehera. We menya uria uku deal nake na ugi niguo akuonere wira, no thuruari waruta ndukauge ndiakuirire" (This is prostitute, others are nothing. You know how to deal with him clever until he get you a job. If you remove Thuruari, dont say i did not tell you)

But when Theuri comes back from latrine and start his stories, i see the lady still want him more and because i know Theuri is a verbal diarrhearer,  i decided to cleverly bring a dirty topic of him eating a person of out, either he abandons them in club or room or promise them money but fails to deliver. But no matter how many people Theuri say he eat and where and when, and how cold or oceanic they were, my person still wanted to hear more and i see like she like him more.

After we drink enough, Theuri invite her to go with us to Meru tomorrow morning, which she agreed. Then, Theuri whispered to me and say "gaka ndathie kuigagura o ma. ndirona kena mukio muingi. Reke rucio ngakuhe uhoro" (This one i have gone to thank myself. She is too horny, tomorrow i will tell you).  I felt gikindi in my throat but since i had drunked his beer, i could not fight back.  Again, if he left us with the lady, i could not afford to drop her or pay taxi for her.

Theuri dropped me at my stage to take matatu home and then, they proceeded to Eastleigh to climb her from there. That night, i did not get sleep. All along, i imagined how Theuri was turning my person like hot ugali. Tomorrow, we meet along Thika road with many others so that we go together. Theuri came and telled me:

"kamundu gaku ni gashenji muno. nikararegire kuruta thuruari, ndiragatigania rumu na matano hau methaine" (Your person si very shenzi type. I leave her in room after she refused to remove Thuruari and left 500 bob for her there). In my head, i knew he was lying to me although it is rare for him to lie about climbing. He would rather lie that he climbed somebody he did not climb than say he did not. But i knowed there were some truth when he then said:

"No umuthi turarara meru. Ira karanjirire gatingihe na riambere. Umuthi rikiri ria mbere mundu wakwa?" (today, we will sleep in Meru, yesterday she said she cannot give me on the first day. today is not first day, my person?). I asked him "Nikii mundu wakwa unyunuhaga uu. ndukenda kuyona ngiria kindu kiega? (Why do you do that to me. Dont you want me to eat good things?) which he said "Ndigithia, aranjirire muri o arata. I ndui ndingiria handu urite? (stop me. She told me you are just good friends. You know i cannot eat somewhere you have eaten). That told me that the lady had jumped me. But having been used to many persons of out that turn to people with more things, i decided to swallow that and live with it.

When she showed up, i see she greet Theuri with warm heart and when she came to me she said "giki kimundu giaku nigikigu ma i. Kireira ati nie no ndikihe. Nie itakiri mumaraya!" (this ki person of yours is stupid. He thinks i can give him. Me is not a person of trap!). I am the kind that reads between the lines but this one was not easy. I knew there was 50 50 chance that she was climbed and no woman will come and say to another man how she was climbed, unless she is of devil.  When it was time to leave for Meru,  she hoped onto the front pasager seat.  As we go to Meru, Theuri tell us alot of stories and we all like including muclimbano.

When we finish uthoni, we went to a bar in Maua town. Maua is a place of its kind. We entered many of us and chafuad the place but no one seems to be bothered by our presence. They did not even turn to look who are these people destroying their bar by drinking like it is December. The locals, because they all have money have no shuguli with visitors. If such visitors come to Kigogoine, you will see all types of people milling around there, borrowing beer or giving stories of giants to visitors so that they get beer from them.

As we drink, Theuri keep 'my' girl to his side. Theuri, like previous day  buys water without ending. Theuri was occasionally talking to one guy in a group of others who was talking Alsorps and in that confusion, he buyed him a beer. The group turned and asked

"Murume... who are this people that buy beer with discrimination?" One man looked at us and said we are still young, we cant  afford beer as yet. He then sended waiter to bring us 2 beers each, a total of 22 beers. We drunked and Theuri said "aya mendaga gucogothwo uguo. Mbeca ciatigariire natuthuri tutu twa miraa" (this people want like that. Money remained here with this wazees of Miraa). As night progressed, we praised them and that earned us more rounds. When we attempt to buy them back, they talk bad and say they did not come to bar to be bought beer by young boys like us.

When it was time to sleep, i tell the girl that she will be climbed by Theuri, the big prostitute. I telled her that Theuri climb three women in one night and sometimes does not even use Makobosto. The girl got scared and when we went to take rooms, she said she want to sleep in her own room. Theuri, thinking it is her trick not to let me know that she is getting climbed by him, paid her room quickly. He then booked another one next to hers. He did not believe that i can do kihibirania to him.

I booked myself a cheaper one, only one bed with no TV like the others. I went back to the bar to see if i can get a person of out to climb but the few i see are all chewing miraa. That putted me off and i went back to my room. When i almost get sleep, i heard my phone cry. Looking who was calling, i saw it was the girl. I picked and i head this beautiful voice say

"Si u come join me.. its cold here and there is something i want to tell you....' I did not wait for another sentence. I dressed up and went down to buy makobosto, before going to her room very fast. I knew there was chances of eating somebody and i did not want to risk going without makobosto.

When i enter, she telled me Theuri was in her room and she refused to remove Thuruari again and when Theuri realized that she was not going to be climbed, he left the room in  protest. She telled me that from the stories i had given her, she filled for herself that indeed, Theuri was a big prostitute. She remminded me of an incidence Theuri was winking at a girl that come with another group and he had taken her number. To me, that was very usual, so i did not notice it as big deal.  I telled her i am a gentleman and so, she should not fear. She still had her thuruari on but her bra was removed. In my head, i knew Theuri had been sucking those small hard Brookside.

I entered bed and slowly slowly. with no hurry at all, touched her until she get on heat. Still fearing that she will jump the muclimbano story, i removed her Theuruari. I did not borrow nor tell her i have intention of climbing her becauswe id did not want to be telled it is our first day on bed together. After all, if she jumped the story, i will simply blame the Meru budas that buy alot of beer for us.

When she see i am removing her thuruari, she telled me "niki urageria? umenye gutiri undu tureka (What are you trying? know that we are not going to do anything. ). I told her she should trust me. She then asked why i was then removing her thuruari which i said, i want to make her feel like a woman. When she allowed me to pull her thuriari off, I played with her brookeside and tiita until she asked me "uko na cd?"

This was the first person I ramnyad until she cry like baby. Not moaning, crying like person being beaten by nyahunyo and it hurts very bad. "iiii iiiiiii iiiiiiiiiiiiiiii" until tears come out. I ranmyand three jotis and all jotis she cry. Later, i told her i dont like the way she cry when getting climbed and she stopped completely.

Tommorow morning, Theuri come to knock, maybe to try his luch again. I went to open and when he see its me he just say "ngai ngai ngai .. wanjohi!!" before i closed the door on his face.

When we meet at restaurant to eat breakfast, i closed one eye on him and said "Munene, Itairi muting'oe.. ri.. uhuragwo ngi nu? (Big man, without tail, who wipes ngis for it?). He showed me middle finger salute and telled me "mangai ninjui uranjininiire kinya ndiraiganira (I know you welded me until i was fixed). We goed back to Nairobi and Theuri vowed to eat her and record himself so that he come show me. When we go back, we sit with her at backseat. Theuri set drives mirror to see us well because he could not believe.

Theuri later called her many times, she go drink his beer, then refuse to enter room until Theuri gave up. From that day, i eat her until the time she got married to a guy i know. The guy doent know me but she telled me not to call with my Safcom number because the man knows it offhead. But fortunately, he doesnt know me by face. 

I remain,

Wanjohi wa Kigogoine