Ever Stolen Change By Waiters..?

On Wednesday night, i went to watch football and when we beat somebody 1:0, i get very happy and drink much. I liked the way we bend overed somebody at their house. It was like going to a woman house, eat her thoroughly, then you refuse to leave hata pesa ya maziwa when they were refused penalty. It was so exciting, so i over drank and I was all over hangover yesterday that is why you did not see Wanjohi daily yesterday.

Today being Friday, many of you will go to bar and in one way or another, you will be stolen either change or in your order. I dont know why some bars employ waiters that are thieves. If bar employ thieves, they loose many customers like me. If i am stolen in a club, i don't go back there. One day, a waiter will die and find he has gone to Satan's. He will ask Satan, 'satan, what am i doing here? and Satan will tell him, 'you remember one man called Wanjohi wa kigogoine? the waiter will say yes. Then satan will ask him, 'Do u remember you stolen money of change when he come drink beer where you were written work?' He will say 'yes, but say it was small'. Then he will tell him ' that is why you are here. Infact, go near middle'

One long time, we come from long journey of Mombasa and go to Rim club in Langata. Those days, Rim club was saying around there. Mike Rua was singing there and he was not known much. We went and sat somewhere in middle and without looking at waiter name because of tired. I gave waiter 1k to sell 4 beers for us all. We sat and sat and and sat, and no beer came.

There there, we suspected we had been stolen. We tried to do guess work and call one waiter and ask him where is our beer and he say 'you did not send me any beer'. We call over 10 waiters and they all say it is not them we send.

We called the manager and he called all waiters for identification parade. To be honest, we did not know who we send and so there was no case. We were so mad, we did not drink there again. We knew the waiter was measuring somewhere watching us and laughing on inside with our 1k loot. From that day, if i want to 'kuonga mubera' (to suck mubera), i call waiter, check name and save it on phone as draft message, just incase i forget the name. I have to be that cautious. 1k is not small. That is why many waiters will never see heaven by their eyes.

The other way waiter steal is by bill. I noticed one day, we order our bill. Everything is written correctly, the number of beer ordered. But when you add, the lady had added 600 on top. that is another way they steal. If you think you are too clever to be stolen by adding extra beers in you bill, they do the calculations wrong. For eg, if you take 10 beers at 110, instead of giving you a total of 1,100, they will say like... 1,500. Since no drunk can do maths, you loose 400 bob. If you bring me bill , even if i am crawling of drunkenness, i take my phone calculator and add all bill one by one together. After all, i work hard for my money.

We also steal once once when a chance come. Theuri is notorious in thieving. Where they dont sell Viceroy in half, they only sell in tots, or their half Viceroy is 900 shillings, theuri goes to supermaket, buy half Viceroy and enter with it in club hidden. So, the waiter only sell soda and one tot, only to find Theuri getting mahiriri of soda and one tot. He remove the viceroy and put half glass, then return on pocket. When you enter people bar with your own drink hidden so that you dont buy their expensive stuff, that is thieving and it can throw you to Satan.

If a neighbor order meat and ask you to take one piece and you end up eating more than the one who had measured that meat, that is also thieving and it is punishable in hell. According to Theuri, what sin you do here on earth, you will be punished 10 times in Satan. That will be the punishment. If you thieve change or disappear with all money, you will be thieved in hell 10 times.


If you drink beer and it is sin, your punishment will be by drinking beer 10 times more in hell. If your work is muclimbano with prostitutes here on earth and it is sin, the punished will be to climb 10 times prostitutes in hell. If you smoke and it is sin, you will be smoking 10 times in hell. If you go to disco and it is sin and sing Reggae and Rock, you will be spending 10 times in hell's disco. If your work is to go to club and doent not measure meat, you wait for others to measure and you eat one peace too many, it is sin and in hell, your work will be of eat other people's meat 10 times. OOPS what a punishment.

Theuri goes on to tell me that in heaven, people will be surrounding God and singing praises (kugoca) to God.

Thats Theuri for you.

I remain,

Wanjohi wa Kigogoine.