My Story with Traffic: The Fortune That Came With My Old Car Part 2

An old car is not too bad after all if we account my experience with that car i once owned. All was not lost even if the seller lied to me that it had only been driven by an old woman for the rest of its life until the old lady lost her eyes and could no longer drive it to church and funerals. But later, i came to know what they meant. They did not mean to mislead me, it is me who did not get  what they meant. What they actually meant was that the owner had been turned into old age because of the many problem of that car. Again, he had been turned into a 'woman' because she was always shopping. Although not normal shopping that women do, the shopping this time was for spare parts every day because the car ask for spare part everyday.  The car, because of its many problem could only go to church in the neighborhood and the other furthest distance it could go was Lang'ata cemetery because the previous owner used to live in Langata.

Because i inherited all problems of the car, one of its many problems was to refuse to enter gear and when it enter, it get stuck in some gears. One such time, i was along Argwings Kodhek road. For those who are not familiar with that route, it is road that take you to Yaya centre and if you go further, you go to Kawangware.

If you get stuck along Argwings Kodhek Rd, you cannot pack on side because it does not have. Just as i passed Yaya centre small, i see jam and had to slow down. As i tried to take it to lower gear, the gear refuse and stuck in gear no. 3.  I braked at the jam and tried to remove the gear. That was something i was used to, all i had to do was to try and try. When jam opened, the gear was still stuck in no 3. I tried and tried and motorists behind me hooted and hooted until I had to one of them,  gave him my keys and asked him to come and try move my car because i have been unable. He just looked at me and stopped hooting.

Looking back, i see jam has reached very far but i did not have otherwise. As i tried, i started calling my mechanic for tips. As i called, i see one traffic lady come looking me very bad. Just as she reached near my car, the gear agreed to remover and i quickly engaged gear no. 1 and started moving. Just as i wanted to move, she jumped infront of car and shouted "Wewe ni mjeuri namna gani, unaweka hii jam yote ndio uongee na simu?

Before i could answer, she opened door and hoped inside and asked me to go to Kilimani police station. I tried to tell her that the car had a mechanical problem to which she answered "Imepona wakati nimefika. Ebu leta licence. Nitakushtaki na obstruction and kuongea na simu."

I did not want to argue, so i drove towards a ka entrance so that we go to Kilimani. She look at me and say "Na nyinyi vijana si muko na madharao. Unaweka jam ndio uongee na simu? Ujinga ndio imejaa hiyo kichwa yako. Leo utajua sheria"  I looked at her not knowing what to say. If only she knew how many problems i had because i even still owed my mechanic money for last nights repair..

Just as i was about to beat the corner, the gear jammed again. She saw how i struggle and after some few minutes, it removed.  Because she had removed the cap i see she is cute with dimples and yellow yellow face. She did not look like the tough police  that was hurling insults at me again. As we go, i tried to plead with her but where.

As we entered Kilimani police, i saw a driver of police who come from my village trying to park one of the police patrol cars. I waved and as he waved back. He was carrying the then Kilimani OCPD a Mr. Willy Lugusa. The OCPD thought i was waving at him. He waved back heatedly, smilling at me, although talking on phone. I did not know him, only used to see him on TV saying "My boys shot back killing them instantly".

After removing from car,  the traffic lady asked "kwani mnajuana na mkubwa?" I looked at her and smiled then said "Lugusa ni rafiki yangu sana. Tunakunyuanga na yeye sana"


As we walked to the Traffic office with the lady, Lugusa had already alighted and was talking to other senior police. As i passed i went to them, greeted them and said to him " na mkubwa umenipotelea sana. Nitakutafuta jioni"  He happily said he has been busy and we shall hook up later. One thing i knew in my mind was that this people never know who they are talking to or where you have met and so, they cannot ignore you. They see many people everyday and they cannot afford to disregard anyone as long as you are not asking for assistance from them.

When we go to the traffic office, she tell a fellow traffic, although man  "Andikia uyu jamaa wa Lugusa bond aende kotini kesho kwa obstruction"  The man looked at the lady traffic and said "Si msikizane na yeye kama ni mutu ya mkubwa?". I was now starting to behave like a real mtu ya mkubwa, so i started to play pyschological game.

I looked at the lady on her eyes and said "Sasa wewe, badala ya nikuambie vile utaonana na wakubwa, mkunywe pamoja, wewe unataka nikanyange mbao?"

She looked at me and said "hehe. Wacha kuniangalia ivo na izo macho zako. Leta elfu moja tuachie uyu jamaa twende tukiongea basi. Mini utaniachia chai ya soo ano"

I told her i dont have money with me but i will give her later when i withdraw at barclay's.  When she saw i was adamant to remove money, she told me i drop her and the same where she had catched me from. When  she enter, she tell me but i first pass at Barclays and withdraw her chai. I looked at my wallet and see 200 bob which i gave her.

Those days, women police put on skirt that reach until ground, so it was not easy to know whether she had big buttocks or not. Then, when they put those caps, they all look bad, so people have notion that all policewoman dont look good. But thgis one, despite the long skirt looked like something. As she left the car, i decided to throw one compliment so that  next time she see me stuck on road, she will not insult me.

"Izo dimples si zinakutoa. Lakini, ubaya yake, siku ile utakuwa mzee na meno zote  zingoke, hapo itakuwa shimo" i said to her. She looked at me and said "Ninatukanangwo mara mia moja kwa siku. Endelea tu. Ebu chukua number yangu uniitie mia nane yangu"  I told her i will give her and buy her beer and food.

I dont know what touched me because on  saturday evening, i called her line. From the way she answered, she had not saved my number. I reminded her that this is the friend of OCPD she has catched earlier in the week.  She sounded excited and i told her i wanted to have a drink with her.

She asked from where and i told her Upperhill Springs. I knew to her, that would be ideal coz it was near her area. When she arrived, she meet me and Theuri. She did not look one cent her former self. She had firm boobs, big thuthas and very soft voice.  We talked and talked, all normal things. Theuri because he knew she was police behaved like no other time, although he talk many many but no muclimbano.  But as we get drunk and drunk, theuri start to open. He tell the lady that i am a man with alot of influence because my father was former Ps and i know alot of people and if she handles me well, she can go places.

When she go to toilet Theuri tell me 'Kai muguruki uyu uretigira mundu ucio? nikii? katari mundu o ta uria ungi? tiga ugishagi. (You mad person, you fear that person? She is like any other normal human being. Stop o village).  He however cautions me "Na umenye uyu waga kumuhe shuma wega no rithathi ya itina agukuhura" (and know, if you dont satisfy her well, it is bullet of buttocks she will beat you.  "na we ndioi nikii. Aya gutiri kanyamu makoragwo. No tuhote kwandika ikumi ta aya" (They dont have things, we can even afford to write 10 people like those)

When she comes from latrine,  i start to make moves. Its like she was waiting for that. As we talk, she come and hold my shoulder and plays with my ear. Although she touch touch even my head, i still fear to touch touch her back. But after a while, i gain courage and touch her hair and ears too. When i touch her ears, it was like that was her erotic zone because she hold my head and pulls it towards her and kiss me passionately. We kiss and kiss and when i look at Theuri with vagina of my eye, he show me a sign that i will be shot in head.

I suggested we go to a place and rest. To measure her if she knows a place with rooms, asked her where we have good rooms. I like measuring people of out. One time, i go to Kitengera to a friends place. We chomokad with his sister in law. As we drink, i borrowed her things and to measure her i asked where we will climbana. She throw mouth and tell me 5 places and how much they charge and for which has hot water.  There there, my tree slowed down because i knew she had been climbed by everyone in Kitengera. But for this cop,  all the rooms she tell me are in hurlingham but she has no idea of how much they charge. But i knew that in all of them, one night's rate was equal to my two month's house rent in Kinoo. I remembered one guest house near Kenyatta Market. That time, they charge 1800.

Before leaving, she reminded me that my car sometimes stuck gear, so it will be safer if we take taxi. I convinced her that it had been repaired. We drove to Kenyatta market and booked the room.  We entered room but i still did not have confidence enough to initiate the muclimbano. But its like she see i have fear.  She remove shoes and lies on  bed facing up and still legs hanging.  In my head, i tell myself that maybe she has kept pisto there and if i jump on her like i jump on other people of out, she will remove pisto and shoot me in head, just like Theuri was demonstrating to me.

I took courage and went and lay on top of her and kissed her small. She kissed me back passionately, sighing and touching my back. Slowly, i unbuttoned her blouse and pushed bra on upside and started sucking her brookside.  At first, i suck slowly because i dont know if the brookside will remove milk like i had experienced sometimes before. Another person of out allow me to such her brookside without warning and she knew very well that she was sucking a baby. But those of that traffic cop were freshly, firm and unsucked by babies. I sucked and sucked and when she see the bra is stopping me, she rose up and removed bra and blouse.

Slowly, still with fear, i unbuckled her jeans belt  and brought it down. I then throw her on the bed and remove her biker. Those days, many women wear biker. As i remove biker, i still suck her brookside with zeal to keep the fire burning, otherwise, i fear she might tell me to stop from there.  After her thuruari  was off, i see she had not shaved proper, some hair remain small small, especially near tiita down down.

Her kind of hole was the one that has big mwatuka (valley or crack.. just been corrected)  and big lips until it hides tiita deep deep. To reach tiita good, i take it with my two fingers and use the other hand to scratch scratch it. Then i insert my small finger, then two then three until i stopped because i fear if i try fourth, it will still go and i will fear it is big hole and loose morale of climbing her.

She cry for utamu until she raises herself up and ask me to lie down. She take my josto and smiles when she see it is type that has rugged rugged contours and many mikiha (veins). When i hear she complements my josto, i get assured that no bullet will go through my head just incase i leave her hanging. 

After she suck and suck, she ask if i am ready and i say yes. She take makobosto and roll them down my josto. Thinking she will tell me to come up, she stands on top of me, then lowers herself down slowly, pointing my josto on her hole. Then she slow herself small small until all josto was finished.  Then, like a trained person, she throw herself up and down, then in round and round. Because i dont want to pour fast and i fell like pouring, i imagine her pointing a gun on my head. I feel fear  and that chases away the feeling of pouring.

She change position and turn the other side, still on top. She hold my legs and do the same thing in speed. She occasionally play with my testicles and that makes me feel like pouring all that is stored there. Again, i think of her crashing my balls with hammer and the feeling of pouring goes away again.

She does that until i hear her muscles contrast and crash my josto. That was an indication that she was pouring. I had not poured, mind you. I tell her i will make her pour three times.  After playing with her brookside and tiita again to make get heat again, i tell her to lie facing up. I put one leg on my shoulder and eat somebody until i pour. Those days, i eat kachumbari alot and so, could afford two or three powerful jotis without struggle.  I ate her until she say no man has ever made her feel like that.

I climber two more times until we lost one another. I did not enjoy the hole as much as i was enjoying eating a traffic cop. When eating later, i fail to know why people fear them, and here i was eating her with no mercy. If you see a cop this evening, dont fear, pass your business card. You never know what might happen oh.

Someday, i tell you how the same car, it jamed near entrance of gate of guest house and gangsters come and terrorize us, including other people that had booked other rooms. Some people in that room even think we brought the gangs. Even as it gone like that, i climbed that person because it was first time and we had been stolen anyway.

I remain,

Wanjohi wa Kigogoine