Thursday, July 21, 2011

This Man Theuri.....

If there is one person that has real steel balls, it is Theuri. I say that because of the way he deals with people of out that are gold diggers. Although he has no gold to be digged, he cant lack ka something of beer and meat. If he see a person of out at 18 that she is a gold digger, he makes the person see he has more than gold, climbs and then blocks their phone after that. He is at times ruthless, but he says thats him and he cant change.

I once told you that one day, a person of out called him and said she wanted some money from him. There there, his tree standed because he had n idea who to eat and it was sunday evening. He telled the person that he will pass at her house to give her the money after muclimbano. In the evening when he finished climbing her, he asked her to see him off. When she asked for the money, he said "tuthie nindirakunengera" (Lets go, i will give you). He waited until they reached a place with darkness, then gave her one hundred bob. She looked at him with sorrow and sadness, then said "wooi Theuri, no nguhoe mbeca ma unengere igana, kai utari tha?" (can i borrow money from you, you give me one hundred, dont you have sorrow?)

In year 2002, Theuri had a person he was climbing for many times. The person, thought she could insert Theuri in a box so that he hire a house for her. She had already identified a house going for 15k/month and wanted Theuri to be paying for it every month. Theuri only laugh with side because, at that time, he was paying his house at 7,500 in Zimmer. When he beat the story to us, he say

"ngoma iyo no ndimikomborere nyumba goro kuri iria nie ndiraikara na family yakwa. ma kai ndiri mutwe ii" (that devil, can i hire a house for her that is more expensive than mine. She has no head) We telled him it is his sin because he show the person that he owns the world. He told us that even if he had all the money, he cant hire a house for persons of out because it is making it easier for her to be climbed by others. "ngoma icio ikuhurariga thaa inya igakwira, sweetie ma uka. uka tu ndiraigua ngumisite muno" Those devil call you at 10, then tell you, sweetie come, please come, i have missed you). That time, you are in the house and you cant leave and they know that. In other words, they want to make sure that you cant you can pull a surprise on her. When you certain to her that its impossible, she now calls a young boy that will marry her one day for muclimbano, in the same house that you are paying.

But because he wanted to be climbing her in that house for the first few months before he run away, he telled the person to pay for the first month which from there, he will pick up because he say he had finished money that month because all his trucks were asking for new engines. The person, in her foolishness believed Theuri. She went and paid for the house and migrated after buying small items of the house with he money she had saved.

Every weekend, Theuri ramnyas things in her house, saving the high cost of lodging. Even when in the house and he feel his tree need something of out, he used to drive off to her house and ranmyas. When end month reached, Theuri disappeared for sometime until she paid that months rent. This left her so dry because she was getting paid so little. Theuri resurfaced again and promised to refund her the money she paid. On the third month when she see Theuri was not paying,only stories of giant, she was forced to migrate again to her parents house.

But Theuri is not alone. One Mafiosa was paying a house for his person for like one year non stop. He had even fully furnished the house. The ka yello yello was so yummy that all men stop when they see her, even Theuri. Mafiosa like people that look like sun that attract attention wherever he goes. In the mix of things, she catched a small boy and the boy started eating her in the house Mafiosa was paying. A yellow yello must have atleast 3 men at one given time. One is the financier, then the climber and then, the one that will marry her. Mafiosa got wind of that and small small, started to keep distance.

He even stopped paying rent and when the yello yello asked for rent money, he would give endless excuses and promise to pay the next day. Second month reached and the rent money now climbed each other but Mafiosa kept promising her. Everyday, she come to his office and Mafiosa shows her cheques that were to be in banked some few days.

The owner of house became very impatient and brought auctioneers, exactly what Mafiosa wanted. Because he could not take back the stuff, he wanted her to loose them as well. She was given 14 days to clear, rest, her stuff will be taken by the auctioneer. She brought the letter of auctioneer to Mafiosa. He still promised to settle the auctioneers and appeared very concerned. When some few days remain, he wrote them a check although he deliberately mispelt the name of the auctioneer company. The auctoneers rejected the check, saying they want cash because the day was ending. He played games until the day auctioneer came and took all her properties.

She came to Mafiosa's office crying. When she sat there, Mafiosa see a phone she had and remembered it was him that buy it very expensively. He asked her to give him the phone because his had no fire and was in need to make a call to them. When she gave him the phone, he removed her simcard and gave it to her, then telled her that he has decided to take his phone back because he had heard in rumour that she was getting climbed by a small boy of her age. She tried to beg but he did not bulge. But some persons have no head. After a while, Mafiosa remembered how her hole was yummy. He called her up and they patched up again, although this time, he did not hire a house for her again.

Between the two, who has harder balls?

(wanjohidaily.com has been offline since monday. It will be back by Monday, but for now, you can read them from here... )

I remain,

Wanjohi wa Kigogoine

Friday, July 15, 2011

Why i Dont Boast With A Persons of Out





Sometimes there are people we can eat and beat chest that we eat person of strength but if you get her history, you will be shocked what you just ate.That is why i stopped digging history of people of out i climb.  No matter how fly they look, I will never boast with any person of out. I dont ask what they do and stuff, i keep it simple, climbing and we part.

There was this person i met some years ago. That person looked like sun and used to work for a prominent lawyer in town. She also looked sophisticated, from dressing to where she lived and where she shopped. She used to say that she cant buy clothes from exhibition because soon, you find it with thousand of other persons in town. Although later i came to know that she buy her stuff from Sunbeam, she still has taste and stuff.

Although sometimes she used to follow me in rifa rodi bars, she never liked there at all, just like Marto. Rifa rori bars dont sell Heinekenn and other sophisticated drinks that she used to drink when with me. Although i dont buy those colonialistic drinks, i used to buy her with no end.  Even when being climbed, she had style too. Closing all holes was a must and if she did not say mbu, she never allowed me to go. Again, she did not allow me to jump on her just like that, even if we were dead drunk. Before touching tiita, she used to ask me to wash hands first.

One time, i  told Theuri and crew how i am eating a super thing this days. Theuri wished to see her because of the way i was singing her too much. He said i should invite her over one day  and all bill will be on them.  One day, i  invited her over to one of our drinking dens in Rifa rodi. When she came, i see all of them keep quiet and almost holding their mouth with laughter.

After she left, i started to beat story to them how i climbed her and how her hole was hot, although deep and oceanic. Before i finished beating the story to them, they were all being collected  under the table laughing. Theuri stopped me and asked "amba unjire, niwikiraga makobosto? (Do you put makobosto). I said yes. He then laughed again even more and telled Akuku " Uyu riu nu augaga uhoro wake riu. Mundu ucio ahaicitwo ni andu ta 30 aria nie njui. Ucio ona thread ciathirire tene" (Who are you talking about now. That person has been climbed by 30 people that i know. She finished threat long time" He then continued "No uria wamakirie ni riri. Ta imajini mahaicirwo mari eri ni Kim uria dagitari" (What surprised me more was that they were climbed by Kim, the doctor, two of them together).

Before I telled them to stop hating,  Akuku assured  me "gatikiri koru ati muuno, no nikamaraya hanini" (She is not too bad but she is a trapper small). From that day, i never boast with any person of out because you may never know who is watching or has the history.

That reminded me of another person of out that was boasting with me. One time, i called her in town to have one. Because she was so proud of me, she came with two other persons to say hi. After saying hi, they went and sat on a separate table. One of them later called my person and said to her

 "Ati ucio nu?" (Who is that?) She said i am her boyfie. They laughed and said "Nu utoi Wanjohi riu. Ndiguiciria kuri irima atari aingira guku guothe. Ni mumaraya agathira. Ucio aingira irima riu riaku, gukamuona ringi nimaheni" (Who doesn't know Wanjohi. I dont think there is hole he has never entered. He is trapper to finish. When he enter that hole, to see him again is a lie)   She did not believe them that night but later when i refused to pick her calls is when she told Theuri what she was told.

I remain,

Wanjohi wa Kigogoine