Thursday, July 21, 2011

This Man Theuri.....

If there is one person that has real steel balls, it is Theuri. I say that because of the way he deals with people of out that are gold diggers. Although he has no gold to be digged, he cant lack ka something of beer and meat. If he see a person of out at 18 that she is a gold digger, he makes the person see he has more than gold, climbs and then blocks their phone after that. He is at times ruthless, but he says thats him and he cant change.

I once told you that one day, a person of out called him and said she wanted some money from him. There there, his tree standed because he had n idea who to eat and it was sunday evening. He telled the person that he will pass at her house to give her the money after muclimbano. In the evening when he finished climbing her, he asked her to see him off. When she asked for the money, he said "tuthie nindirakunengera" (Lets go, i will give you). He waited until they reached a place with darkness, then gave her one hundred bob. She looked at him with sorrow and sadness, then said "wooi Theuri, no nguhoe mbeca ma unengere igana, kai utari tha?" (can i borrow money from you, you give me one hundred, dont you have sorrow?)

In year 2002, Theuri had a person he was climbing for many times. The person, thought she could insert Theuri in a box so that he hire a house for her. She had already identified a house going for 15k/month and wanted Theuri to be paying for it every month. Theuri only laugh with side because, at that time, he was paying his house at 7,500 in Zimmer. When he beat the story to us, he say

"ngoma iyo no ndimikomborere nyumba goro kuri iria nie ndiraikara na family yakwa. ma kai ndiri mutwe ii" (that devil, can i hire a house for her that is more expensive than mine. She has no head) We telled him it is his sin because he show the person that he owns the world. He told us that even if he had all the money, he cant hire a house for persons of out because it is making it easier for her to be climbed by others. "ngoma icio ikuhurariga thaa inya igakwira, sweetie ma uka. uka tu ndiraigua ngumisite muno" Those devil call you at 10, then tell you, sweetie come, please come, i have missed you). That time, you are in the house and you cant leave and they know that. In other words, they want to make sure that you cant you can pull a surprise on her. When you certain to her that its impossible, she now calls a young boy that will marry her one day for muclimbano, in the same house that you are paying.

But because he wanted to be climbing her in that house for the first few months before he run away, he telled the person to pay for the first month which from there, he will pick up because he say he had finished money that month because all his trucks were asking for new engines. The person, in her foolishness believed Theuri. She went and paid for the house and migrated after buying small items of the house with he money she had saved.

Every weekend, Theuri ramnyas things in her house, saving the high cost of lodging. Even when in the house and he feel his tree need something of out, he used to drive off to her house and ranmyas. When end month reached, Theuri disappeared for sometime until she paid that months rent. This left her so dry because she was getting paid so little. Theuri resurfaced again and promised to refund her the money she paid. On the third month when she see Theuri was not paying,only stories of giant, she was forced to migrate again to her parents house.

But Theuri is not alone. One Mafiosa was paying a house for his person for like one year non stop. He had even fully furnished the house. The ka yello yello was so yummy that all men stop when they see her, even Theuri. Mafiosa like people that look like sun that attract attention wherever he goes. In the mix of things, she catched a small boy and the boy started eating her in the house Mafiosa was paying. A yellow yello must have atleast 3 men at one given time. One is the financier, then the climber and then, the one that will marry her. Mafiosa got wind of that and small small, started to keep distance.

He even stopped paying rent and when the yello yello asked for rent money, he would give endless excuses and promise to pay the next day. Second month reached and the rent money now climbed each other but Mafiosa kept promising her. Everyday, she come to his office and Mafiosa shows her cheques that were to be in banked some few days.

The owner of house became very impatient and brought auctioneers, exactly what Mafiosa wanted. Because he could not take back the stuff, he wanted her to loose them as well. She was given 14 days to clear, rest, her stuff will be taken by the auctioneer. She brought the letter of auctioneer to Mafiosa. He still promised to settle the auctioneers and appeared very concerned. When some few days remain, he wrote them a check although he deliberately mispelt the name of the auctioneer company. The auctoneers rejected the check, saying they want cash because the day was ending. He played games until the day auctioneer came and took all her properties.

She came to Mafiosa's office crying. When she sat there, Mafiosa see a phone she had and remembered it was him that buy it very expensively. He asked her to give him the phone because his had no fire and was in need to make a call to them. When she gave him the phone, he removed her simcard and gave it to her, then telled her that he has decided to take his phone back because he had heard in rumour that she was getting climbed by a small boy of her age. She tried to beg but he did not bulge. But some persons have no head. After a while, Mafiosa remembered how her hole was yummy. He called her up and they patched up again, although this time, he did not hire a house for her again.

Between the two, who has harder balls?

(wanjohidaily.com has been offline since monday. It will be back by Monday, but for now, you can read them from here... )

I remain,

Wanjohi wa Kigogoine

15 comments:

  1. Wee wanjohi men nikii wanjohidaily.com irekire. Ngukuriha ngiri ikumi smal small if u bring it back to us.
    Na uturehere ng'ano ici daily

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  2. @ Cugwo.. by monday, hopefully. ikirudi ni daily stories..

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  3. Person of house hii mambo ya kuhostiwa na server za rifa rodi uwache...am sure wanjohidaily.com gets enough hits so dont host on servers of childish

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  4. @ Fellation.. once ikiamka, nahama rifa rori

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  5. People of out should not be bought physical stuff. You can only spend on them on things they can't take home.

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  6. Very refreshing to read your karugano, quite interesting. Hope you get back to daily doses soon. Between the two, both are quite hard balls i would say.

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  7. funny 4 the time being

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  8. Good lessons for men. Never hire them a house. Only meat of burnt and few waters is allowed.

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  9. Thumb finger up like this

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  10. Mafiosa kills it because in my opinion ange wacha mauctioneer wachukue vitu zake. then call them and tell them he will settle the rent juu amezoea na wampe vitu zake. hence zero loss.
    lakini inakaa his tree failed him double time.Kama mimi huwa siwaweki, ndakiguthire mokoyo na ndi na kanyamu nguoini.

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  11. Tuambie mambo ya kuclmb Mturkana. How experince are you.

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  12. She came into Mafiosa’s office, the quintessential picture of a damsel in distress. Wherein she reposted, Mafiosa espied the phone in her possession and was assuaged with vivid recollections of how far its purchase had set him back forcing him to expropriate it and confront her with pickings from the grapevine on her illicit liaison with some lad. But his resolve weakened and he was overwhelmed by the erotic phantasmagoria of her bodily endowments. He thereafter called her and recanted his earlier acts of cruelty, though he never again made proviso for her abode (PLO).

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