This weekend at Herisquare lounge, Ikenia Arts will be presenting a show called Ruta ndute (remove I remove). Its an adult show and its about removing thuruaris.
This has made me remember with pain an incident that happened last night. Its opposite of remove I remove.
There is this persons I met, who has eaten salt almost like me though she looks twedi one and has more stairs and trucks than me.
One time we were drinking dogogio and we started beating stories of adults, a topic I like so much. I singed my zig zag, beating drums for it on how it coils inside persons and beats all corners until tiita removes smoke.
She looked with vagina of her eyes at where my josto is located and in her head, she confirmed it is zig zag. She closed one eye on me and I closed mine for her. We exchanged contacts and started whatsapping and IMOing like daily until I borrowed things.
Yesterday, the date happened. She was to see one of her flats she was constructing in Kitengela and requested me to accompany her.
The thought of eating a rich made my heart beat to beat. You know I am used to eating MkUs who I flatten to that they will become rich once josto dangles made me refuse to know what lie to tell a rich. The thought of eating a persons who has eaten salt almost like me made me refuse to know. You know those who have eaten salt have very firm muscles. The many years the tiita has been pounded makes the muscles firm, they can press small and you will pour all that is in bells within 1 seconds.
When I got her at a parking slot in town, she telled me I come drive her. A 5.2 litter machine that drinks oil to drink. When driving it, I was driving with all my head out so that I am seen by as many persons who will think I drive a 5Lt machine and come with it on head this weekend.
It is this us, until Kitengela. After inspecting her flats in progress, we headed to ana small dogogio place of the rich.
As we were drinking, she touched zig and confirmed it stands coiled, not straight. Her bean started to beat beat until she almost poured on herself. Small, she could not tolerate anymore, she called called the waiter and telled him to do total. I was about to tell her equal equal when she removed card and paid all of it. She then telled me we go to room.
I tried to figure out where we get rooms of like 1500 which I could afford comfortably. She telled me to beat car fire until of Kinuthia Mbugua's in Utawala.
Since I was born, I have never been to that place. When we entered, head telled me that rooms dont go for 1500. We removed from car and headed straight to reception. I was walking behind her so that she does not get removed by devil and tell me to pay. She paid and we were directed to room.
It is this us, until room. Small, I rolled makobosto then inserted josto sloooowly. When all josto was in, she presed her tiita muscles and tree felt like it was being strangled. I removed half of zig and returned, removed and on returning again, I felt like bells had been putted pump to remove everything stored there. I then collapsed on top of her.
She asked me with alot of worry "Wanjohi ndukauge niwaita?" (Wanjohi dont say you have poured?)
I saided in very low voice "ndikuga" (I wont say)
I refused to know what to do to ukia again because as I have always telled you, I only climb one joti, unless I will sleep with the persons until morning. Otherwise, it cant stand even if what. Infact I hear men saying they climbed 3 jostis in a span of 1 hour and refuse to know, is it that they dont know how to count jotis or is it satan they have in their head that directs them to do such evils or is it that they dont have ambition in life that the only thing they think is to climb? Me once I pour, thats it. Who seeks fame that they climbed a persons 4 jostis? for what? I always refuse to know.
She breathed hard and waited for me maybe to wake up and finish her fire. In head, I knew that fire can only be finished by either cold water or her fingers.
After 5 minutes when strength returned, I removed from bed and went and bathed, then returned.
When I picked my trouser to dress up and go home, she rose from her lying position, sat on the bed and asked me
"Wanjohi niki ureka?" (What are you doing?)
I saided (Rucio ndi wira tene, reke nie nyumirie" (I am working early tomorrow, let me remove)
She saided "Mwathani, ati ki? nduri kundu urathie utahete tuna" (Ati what? there is no where you are going until you give me 4 jotis!)
Head refused to know, since I was born, my record stands at 3 and that was when I was young. Now, at my age, where will 4 jostis come from? even 2nd one, even if what, it cant even with medicine of ukambani.
I stopped dressing up and returned to bed, said a small prayer to return mukio. I sucked brookies, tried to put images of all persons I have ever wished to one day to even if only insert head, but where. I telled head to think it is Jahkey's brookies I was sucking so that tree can sprout again but where. I looked at her eyes and replaced them with Silver's but where. I putted images of those of TV but where until I gave up.
I cursed all those persons I was putting images of but were not helping in making tree stand. I refused to know how babish they are.
After 30 minutes of trying which appeared like eternity, I broke the bad news to her. I telled her I cant be able ukia again even if what. She asked me why. I telled her it is because I ate meat of burnt which burns all calories of standing.
She rose up and held her hands akimbo and asked me
"Wanjohi reke ngurie i, we na ti mbeca ndirenda hariwe, nduri kinduuu, nduri ona ki, nie ni muti ucio waku nyendaga arafu uremwo kunjika? ii?(Wanjohi, let me ask you, it is not money that I want from you, you dont have anything, it is that tree of yours, now you are unable to climb me?)
I thined myself and saided it is because her tiita was soo tight that it milked everything in the bells.
In bitter voice, she telled me
"Na mundu angikuona ugithie na fara no akuhe gitio muno na hatiri wira haha. Hatiri wira, bure tu. Mundu no one taui kuhaicana no wewe ni bure kabisa. Muthita ucio waku kafa urengwo uheo aria moi guikana (If one sees you walking on the road, they cant give you respect, but you are nothing. One can say you can climb but where. That josto should be cut off and be given to those who knows how to climb )
Let me tell you, for free, I was readed for over 1 hour. Since I was born, I have never been readed like that. She removed I failed to remove. None of my whatsapp messages have been returned and my 5 IMO calls went answered.
Now, if you can climb 4 jotis, call me I give you contacts. You will drive a 5 litter engine then thank me later.
I am
Dagitari Onjohi.
Snr. Gynae & COOJO (Climber of One Joti Only)
—
This has made me remember with pain an incident that happened last night. Its opposite of remove I remove.
There is this persons I met, who has eaten salt almost like me though she looks twedi one and has more stairs and trucks than me.
One time we were drinking dogogio and we started beating stories of adults, a topic I like so much. I singed my zig zag, beating drums for it on how it coils inside persons and beats all corners until tiita removes smoke.
She looked with vagina of her eyes at where my josto is located and in her head, she confirmed it is zig zag. She closed one eye on me and I closed mine for her. We exchanged contacts and started whatsapping and IMOing like daily until I borrowed things.
Yesterday, the date happened. She was to see one of her flats she was constructing in Kitengela and requested me to accompany her.
The thought of eating a rich made my heart beat to beat. You know I am used to eating MkUs who I flatten to that they will become rich once josto dangles made me refuse to know what lie to tell a rich. The thought of eating a persons who has eaten salt almost like me made me refuse to know. You know those who have eaten salt have very firm muscles. The many years the tiita has been pounded makes the muscles firm, they can press small and you will pour all that is in bells within 1 seconds.
When I got her at a parking slot in town, she telled me I come drive her. A 5.2 litter machine that drinks oil to drink. When driving it, I was driving with all my head out so that I am seen by as many persons who will think I drive a 5Lt machine and come with it on head this weekend.
It is this us, until Kitengela. After inspecting her flats in progress, we headed to ana small dogogio place of the rich.
As we were drinking, she touched zig and confirmed it stands coiled, not straight. Her bean started to beat beat until she almost poured on herself. Small, she could not tolerate anymore, she called called the waiter and telled him to do total. I was about to tell her equal equal when she removed card and paid all of it. She then telled me we go to room.
I tried to figure out where we get rooms of like 1500 which I could afford comfortably. She telled me to beat car fire until of Kinuthia Mbugua's in Utawala.
Since I was born, I have never been to that place. When we entered, head telled me that rooms dont go for 1500. We removed from car and headed straight to reception. I was walking behind her so that she does not get removed by devil and tell me to pay. She paid and we were directed to room.
It is this us, until room. Small, I rolled makobosto then inserted josto sloooowly. When all josto was in, she presed her tiita muscles and tree felt like it was being strangled. I removed half of zig and returned, removed and on returning again, I felt like bells had been putted pump to remove everything stored there. I then collapsed on top of her.
She asked me with alot of worry "Wanjohi ndukauge niwaita?" (Wanjohi dont say you have poured?)
I saided in very low voice "ndikuga" (I wont say)
I refused to know what to do to ukia again because as I have always telled you, I only climb one joti, unless I will sleep with the persons until morning. Otherwise, it cant stand even if what. Infact I hear men saying they climbed 3 jostis in a span of 1 hour and refuse to know, is it that they dont know how to count jotis or is it satan they have in their head that directs them to do such evils or is it that they dont have ambition in life that the only thing they think is to climb? Me once I pour, thats it. Who seeks fame that they climbed a persons 4 jostis? for what? I always refuse to know.
She breathed hard and waited for me maybe to wake up and finish her fire. In head, I knew that fire can only be finished by either cold water or her fingers.
After 5 minutes when strength returned, I removed from bed and went and bathed, then returned.
When I picked my trouser to dress up and go home, she rose from her lying position, sat on the bed and asked me
"Wanjohi niki ureka?" (What are you doing?)
I saided (Rucio ndi wira tene, reke nie nyumirie" (I am working early tomorrow, let me remove)
She saided "Mwathani, ati ki? nduri kundu urathie utahete tuna" (Ati what? there is no where you are going until you give me 4 jotis!)
Head refused to know, since I was born, my record stands at 3 and that was when I was young. Now, at my age, where will 4 jostis come from? even 2nd one, even if what, it cant even with medicine of ukambani.
I stopped dressing up and returned to bed, said a small prayer to return mukio. I sucked brookies, tried to put images of all persons I have ever wished to one day to even if only insert head, but where. I telled head to think it is Jahkey's brookies I was sucking so that tree can sprout again but where. I looked at her eyes and replaced them with Silver's but where. I putted images of those of TV but where until I gave up.
I cursed all those persons I was putting images of but were not helping in making tree stand. I refused to know how babish they are.
After 30 minutes of trying which appeared like eternity, I broke the bad news to her. I telled her I cant be able ukia again even if what. She asked me why. I telled her it is because I ate meat of burnt which burns all calories of standing.
She rose up and held her hands akimbo and asked me
"Wanjohi reke ngurie i, we na ti mbeca ndirenda hariwe, nduri kinduuu, nduri ona ki, nie ni muti ucio waku nyendaga arafu uremwo kunjika? ii?(Wanjohi, let me ask you, it is not money that I want from you, you dont have anything, it is that tree of yours, now you are unable to climb me?)
I thined myself and saided it is because her tiita was soo tight that it milked everything in the bells.
In bitter voice, she telled me
"Na mundu angikuona ugithie na fara no akuhe gitio muno na hatiri wira haha. Hatiri wira, bure tu. Mundu no one taui kuhaicana no wewe ni bure kabisa. Muthita ucio waku kafa urengwo uheo aria moi guikana (If one sees you walking on the road, they cant give you respect, but you are nothing. One can say you can climb but where. That josto should be cut off and be given to those who knows how to climb )
Let me tell you, for free, I was readed for over 1 hour. Since I was born, I have never been readed like that. She removed I failed to remove. None of my whatsapp messages have been returned and my 5 IMO calls went answered.
Now, if you can climb 4 jotis, call me I give you contacts. You will drive a 5 litter engine then thank me later.
I am
Dagitari Onjohi.
Snr. Gynae & COOJO (Climber of One Joti Only)
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