The Killer That Wasnt a Killer

If I was an editor, I would not have passed the muffled killer title. It does not deserver such a stunning title.  I would have suggested a simpler title like... Kwa Nyeni sellers in Kenya.  I was expecting a thriller  after they ran campaigns for weeks but was thoroughly short changed. If it was a one month's work, I would have clapped many times for them. But having been worked on for over 10 months, i would have first whipped the ka person for not being thorough enough and raising expectations of viewers to an all time high for nothing. It was like taking a person of out that looks like 'sun' and has super thutha to a lodging. But you picked her in a dim lit club. After you enter room, she first remove teeth and keeps it on water glass. She then remove trouser and whats pops out? padded thutha. After she remove bra, all brookie tall until they reach navel.

For the first time in a long time, I was glued on news all waiting for part 2 thriller. I am not saying she did not do a good job. Its above average. Part one was motosana  because it does not happen everyday to find a male trapper confessing he does trapping. It does not happen everyday for a mneck male trapper confession that among her clients are people like Mugwatani and Televangelist XYZ. It does not happen everyday for a guy that looks like sun to ladies to confess on TV that he eats trappers kwa nyeni, yet he has a pm and a baby. I honestly dont know how much you can pay me to say on TV that i eat trappers (female that is).

But part 2.. thats where i would have whipped the presenter until she refuses to know herself. Because, saying that partners of persons risks getting infected because their men are gay and traps male trappers that mostly climbana bila makobosto is missing the point.  Whether you eat a trapper of male or person of out, and you eat bila makobosto, you are a risk to your partner. You will live under the shadow of uncertainty until you get measured. When i was expecting to see how male trappers get beaten, they brought a clip I see everyday life life, Kanju arresting trappers in Koinange. Then the Mombasa guy (he gets climbed in rifa rodi. really?), instead of telling us how he gets beaten, gave an incident where he was beaten ngeta. seriously?

Its not news that Mugwatani climbs many persons, but I doubt he can pick that trapper with mneck. He looks scary for any televangelist or Mugwatani.

Everyone knows that there are many gays in Kenya, thats not secret.  I have seen them in Mombasa, Theuri once chipod one, when he mistook one  for a person of out, if you remember that story.

I have my own experience with such people. In high school, we used to hear with rumor that some guy opens boots. Again, in Kangubiri girls, we used to hear ladies used to climb each other. Thats not news.

Sometimes, i meet people and hear some shocking stories until you refuse to know.

There is this guy, a friend of a friend. Not my friend. Cant stand some people. One day, as we were drinking beer, he told us of an incidence that made us fall under the table, both with laughter and refusing to know.

One day, he was drinking beer at Caltex Umo and he didnt have his car. Instead of taking a taxi, he opted for a Bodaboda.

When the boda boda zoomed off, he got pushed small near the driver of boda boda. Because of the near contact, he felt his tree stand small small.

Devil or gayish in him told him to touch touch the driver of boda boda. He toouched and heard the driver was not resisting. He went ahead and started to touch josto of the driver. That is when the driver realised that he was not carrying and ordinary customer.

Since that ka place where they were passing is not normally busy at night, the driver knew that he will be climbed kwa nyeni. To save his thutha, he started to shout in loud voice "uuuuuiiiii uuuuiiii nisaidineni.. mwizi wa boda bodauuuuuiiiiii"  and added more fire to the bike.

This guy saw that he will be killed wrongly. When they approached a pothole, near Mama Lucy hospital, the guy jumped off and entered those tu bushes. What was even more hilarious was when he told us that he crawled from that place upto Double M bus garage near Komarock, a journey that took from 11 pm until 2Am. .

He were collected  under the table when he said "Nu utangiukia akuhiriirie mundu uguo". No one wanted to ask him what he would have done because we were all under the table. From that day, we fear him like fire. But he is not an ordinary gay, i guess, but given an opportunity.. hehe.

I had my experience long time ago. One day , i said bad is bad, i will drink overpriced beer at Jazz. As i was waiting akina Theuri to join me, some guys came and sat next to me. We started to beat stories and after small time, they said i get one. One has no hand,and when he told the waiter to bring three three for each of us, i refused to know.

Even before i could now return hand, the guy dirtied the table, until i felt ashamed, and thinked that someone that knows me might come and refuse to know if i have become a jaduong.

As we were talking, the guy kept on touching touching me. I thought it was just people that have no manners, so i did not read anything bad.

After small time, Theuri called and said he was at Grace villa. I told the guys that i wanted to take my leave and they refused to know. They said i drink 3 more, yet there were more beers on the table.

Tomorrow of that day, since i had given the guy my card, he called me and said that they kept the beers on stock, so i should go we finish.

In my head, it telled me that either, they were looking to give me business, or they just liked my company. You wouldn't ordinarily get that from a complete stranger.  I told Theuri we go drink expensive beer with him.

As beer came, the guy told a guy they had come with " Imagine huyu jamaa alinipotea jana bana. Na vile temp ilikuwa all time high" I refused to know what he meant, but thought it was a joke. But when i heard how they were talking, i thought that I was about to be opened boot. I told Theuri we remove from there as fast as we could.

Later, i was told by a waiter that he comes with  guys, mostly young, gives them beer and closes them.  If i dranked until i refused to know myself, I would be counting myself as having opened boot.

I remain,

Wanjohi wa Kigogoine