I
once telled you that my first ever job was when I was written as a
cooker. Later, I was promoted to a waiter position at a bar and
restaurant and lodgings in Dadora Phase 5 that was owned by one Kamahuha
the late. That was right after I finished high school as I waited for
exams to remove. Like I telled you before, I was removed from the
village after I started associating myself with boys that were drinking bangi and climbing peoples of owners in the village.
I have telled you a few stories about my waitering days, but there is
one I have never telled anyone because of the fear it evokes and the
love of wanting to forget that incidence. Its not something you want to
remember often.
Among the regular patrons in that bar,
restaurant and lodging place was one guy, quite old, like thatefae ivi,
that used to come with a persons who was my age mate. Yellow Yellow.
She had cleared school same year as me but was born tao, so she knew
dogogio and men unlike shags persons who know it once they become pupils
of MKU. It used to pain me though, seeing young persons getting
climbed by old men, something I used to refuse to know why.
I
liked serving them coz I used to thief them when they got drunk. In
their head, they were thinking because I was small and new, I couldn't
thief bill like what experienced waiters did.
At times, he
would come, drink two at the bar, then go to room to climb and then
order room service after that. One time when I was offering them room
service, I found the persons had just removed from bathroom, as she was
born. long bean!. Let me tell you, I have never ukiad like that. Tree
stretched until knee and did not sleep for the lest of the night.
The image of the long bean also did not leave my head until she came to
the bar again with that old man. My head went bonkers again when I
imagined that long bean and tree tapping tapping it. But I knew it would
not be easy to climb. When you were scratching bells, only can be given
out of being felt mercy.
When the 'oldie' went to latrine, I
went and telled her that I wish to one day only insert only head and I
will be contended for life.
She smiled and telled me that she
has also been thinking of giving me because she also likes me and more,
she likes the size of my zig because she had seen it from 18 when I
had ukiad. She telled me to make a date and she will put legs at 180.
We continued to joke small small for days and in head, I believed one day, zig will sleep inside.
One day, they were drinking. she telled her that old man that she had
been drunk piu piu and wanted to go sleep. She was okeyed to go, to be
joined later as the guy was left finishing his drink.
AS she
was taking the small stairs, she met me standing there with tray and
opener. I looked at her and the long bean image reappeared in my head.
I looked at the table of the guy and had one unoppened White Cup. Satan
whispered to me that an average man takes 30 minutes minimum when drunk
to finish a full bottle.
I neared the persons and telled her in ear "Umuthi no nginya uhe" (Today you just give me)
In drunkedness, she telled me to go to her room I climb one quick one. A
room that her guy had paid. And the guy, being friend of Kamahuha and
Mwenje, also used to own a gun.
But when tree has stretched, head stops thinking.
I gave my tray to a fellow waiter and telled him my plan. I telled him
that I am going to employ him to guard that man so that incase he sees
him waking up, either to go to latrine or to room, he rush up faster to
notify me. I telled him I will pay him 50 bob. Back then there were no
mobile phones ati he could flash.No.
He telled me that I was risking to have a pullet planted on my head but nevertheless, he will guard him.
I went upstairs until her room. She had already removed all clothes.
Because of fear, I only downed trouser small, then twaff twaff, as
usual, 10 seconds of fame. Makobosto is not mentioned and its not
unintentional. No makobosto were present.
I made that a habit until I stopped employing fellow waiters to guard him. I only ensured he had 2 beers on the table.
One day, he had 4 beers. Head telled me that I will climb two jotis,
one of ten seconds and the other one of one hour. Back then, I could
manage more than one joti.
Just as I was teasing teasing long
bean with zig zag so that she ukias well, I heard the door knob
twisted. Then knock and then a loud voice of "Njeri, hingura"
WeWE!, the tree that had ukiad returned to stomach there there. I didnt
know what to do and she didnt know what to do. Death was imminent.
I took my clothes and entered under the bed to wait twaff twaff of true under the bed. I then saided prayer because I was sure I would be shot. I repented all my sins, reminding God that I have felled short of glory and that I have now accepted the lord as my personal savior.
The guy entered and as he was removing clothes, a gun fell until
almost under the bed where I was hiding. I saw a hand browse through,
almost touching my naked body. I prayed again and telled God to save me one last time and if he does, I will never sin again. He browsed through lazily until he picked the gun.
Small, the
persons was being made to say mbus as she received tree of that man. As
she was being to say mbus, in my heart, I was saying mbus of being
whipped.
My heart that time was beating louder than loudest
boom boom music. Occasionally, he would pause and ask why they are
putting loud music in the bar. But it was my heart beats.
Although it is easy to enjoy to hear people climbanaring, this one, and I
think it lasted 10 minutes in real life, in my head, it lasted
eternity. I refused to know how a full grown ass man can last hours as
if he has nothing else to think about. in this hard Nairobi life.
Another sad thing, I had Flu and cough. Small, I could hear like to
cough. I would suppress it with all my remaining energy until one time
it wanted to remove itself by force. I negotiated with it and
negotiated until it agreed after telling it if it coughs, it will never
cough again ever.
Another sad thong, due to more fear of being
shot, I diarrhead and urinated small until he asked why the latrine was
not flashed.
After waiting for eternity to be shot, I heard
snores snores coming from up. The guy was now deep sleep. The persons
did a test "wake up wake up honey". When she was sure he cant wake up,
she rose up and opened the door. I crawled out of the under until out.
When I was out, I found almost every waiter, cookers and all workers
and the manager at the corridor. Seeing I was alive, although wet with
urine and diarrhea, the manager telled me to hand over my float and any
other thing of that company and telled me I had been rubbed ther there.
From then, the only persons of owner I can climb is of Theuri. Any other, let me not be able.
But I learnt a lesson: All rich men climb one joti and falls asleep.
Many jotis of for scratchers and those who have nothing important to
think about.
PS: Dear Njeri, if you want a reunio/rematch to
complete what we started, even if you have many babies like how, as
long as the long bean is still instact, my number is on my profile. Call
me.
I am
Dagitari Onjohi
Snr. Gyno & COOJ (Climber Of One Joti)
(Because I dont Get Paid To Climb Many).
