How To Enter Persons Before They Enter You

To the people who scratch skin and still want to climb the top cream in the society, there is hope. Big hope. Just Fake it till it dangles.

Last night, I sended airtime of 100 bob to another yellow yellow pupil of MKU. An hour later, she had not received the credit.

I saided, let me foward her the message of MPESA to her to prove to her that I actually boughted airtime for her because she was seeing as if I was lying.. In my mpesa account, I had a balance of 96shillings. I edited the mesage to read

"FW86PO014 confirmed. You bought Kshs100.00 of airtime on 29/10/14 at 10.06 PM new M-PESA balance is Kshs96,510.00.Save & earn interest on MShwari" and fowarded the mesage.

After that, wacha I tell you, the "sweetie" "bae" and "you are the loveliest" whatsapp I have received from last night until my phone has fulled all space. I have peeped on her profile,it is saying of how some men can be sweet. I have consequently made a date with her this evening at Bon Marche Lounge and tree must dangle.

This has reminded me of an incident that happened a week ago. If you are good in following instructions, that same same way i will beat you and tree fails to dangle, call me Ng'ang'a. You dont have to remove even one mistari, let your lies talk for you.

I met this persons through Theuri. She was telled I am a prominent MCA and the leader of the majority of Nyeri county. She was telled that Gashagua governor sees my call and shakes all bells because I can impeach him faster than a thief can withdraw mpesa sended to him by mistake. She was telled that I am very bad, I even board aeroplanes of Kenya Airways without ID, a feat that Weta and other minor leaders cannot.

But she came at a very bad time coz on that day, I had landed on foot like satan. It is Theuri and Akuku who were sitting me down at Magomano over a Bluemoon as I waited for Umoinner to drop fare to 50 bob so that I can afford to go home.


In her head, she could see that this guy being called Kiongozi, mara Leader of the majority mara Supreme leader was not buying even small, so in heart, she started to throw saliva out. Even when she was telled by Theuri that Itumbe stands up when shaking my hand, she still did not see me as if l look anything. Even when she was telled I have number of Uhunye,that direct line, she was still throwing saliva out in heart.

A week that followed, a friend who is building stairs in Utawara asked me to take for him some several thousands, slightly shy of half a mita at a hardware in Ruai bypass called Japar so that they can deliver some materials that were urgently needed at the site.

After I collected the money from the bank, satan whispered to me that I would be a big fool to carry such a huge cash and let not even one persons see it with eyes and think its mine. Head telled me that it will be foolish not to let that persons gowith me to the site and I lie to her that the site is of the supreme leader, thereby having legs putted at 180 effortlessly.
I returned to whatsapp to check which persons that does not carry the supreme leader anything.

From the conversation, I saw it was that Theuri's persons. In all our convo, it was like... "hi" hi" sema" those cold cold conversations that occurs to indicates you are not being felt even small, just that she has good heart not to ignore you or abuse you.

I dialed her number and asked her where she was coz I wanted to buy her lunch of strength. After small time, she came where I had parked.

My aim was for her to let her see the bundles of cash I had stashed at the dashboard's tray. And to see it to accompany me. And accompanying me, tree must dangle, unless the unlikely things occur, like month. And since within me, I did not have moneywith manners, only 2k, I had to take her to a good place with good affordable place with affordable meat an dogogio. Head telled me Bon Marche.

Once inside, I telled her that I wanted to buy her full Live shiken of Kienyenji at a place only rich of the sourouding,MCAs and other leaders well known enter. A place that rice putters cant reach.

It is this us, until thika road then until bypass. In my head, could see she was not carring me with heaviness a leader ofmajority deserved . Small, she made a call, then telled the person on the other end to call her back she had no credit.

I asked her if I buy her credit. She saided yes. I asked of how much she want. She saided even 100 is ok and in a tone that well portrayed that she could not take of 50. I telled her let me buy her of 250. her face litted up small.

I telled her to open that dashboard drawer and look if there is 500bob. When he opened and saw those bundles, she fainted small. She had never seen that kind of money soo close to her since she was born. When she regained conciousness, she inserted hand and looked for 500 from the bundles, though shaking shaking. She telled me she cant see any 500 note.

In loud voice, I saided "si uchukue thao mbasi, kwani kuna shida?"
She pulled a thao and closed the tray.

There there, she changed piu piu, its like she had met one Kirufi and promised a free apartment at 2 rivers.

Laughing in heart, It is this us, until Bon Marche and ordered a full live shiken that was slaughted as we see.

When we settled inside to wait for it to cook, I removed out as if I was going to latrine, beat car fire until Japar.

From each bundle, I removed 1k each, then putted money in a paper bad and handed it to  one owner called Kiama . I telled him that money is as it removed from bank, but its important to count again coz these days cashiers are thefer than thiefs. He saided he cant count because he trusts Muiguithania and trusts me even more. Head telled me I have epukad with the thiefed 5k.
To remove his head from the money, I asked him if we can do an equal equal of jogoo at Bon Marche. He saided I am the wisest man Tetu and the entire Nyeri country has even produced for coming out with such a good plan,save that the leader should doequall equal by himself.

I returned after I convinced them that it is unfair and injustice to let the leader bear the burden alone.


When I returned, she did not ask me where I was and why I took long. You dont ask the leader of majority who carries hundreds of thousands in his car as if its those coins you are returned change.
There was a big foreseable problem though. I could foresee her asking tobe assisted with 10k or thereabout. If she does before dangling, it would have meant I would remove like burier of grandmother.


When I was reading Gynaegology, there was a unit called psychology,the science of reading minds. In that, you are taught how to enter persons before she enters you. To go before or Kugia mundu mbere.
As we were talking, I started to tell her how young persons destroy for themselves for running after those people recently writen and asking for small money, then they aregiven, climbed and left just like that. I advised her that if she wants to own flats like those she was seeing and drive cars and become an MCA, she should ask for things that can help her in life not a few thaos.

I advised her how she can come to us rich and give us a proposal of even if its loaning her money to start a business that will build flats, not small mpesa things or buying a plot and she repays when business starts making money by itself  in 2030.

I telled her that some young persons ask for phones, which we monied fellas buy for them anyway, or a few coins like 10k but that only potrays them how small they are in mind to ask things that cant help. I telled her even if its problem of money, she should ask for hundreds of k that can wipe off all problems once and for all.

By the time we left there, she had removed thuruari and thrown it in latrine. She was even almost reaching a point of removing even trouser to walks without forthe supreme leader.

From then, any man who attempted to whatsapp or call her was abused her all. She was telling me that those small boys of town only want to buy dogogio but cannot share a goal with anyone. She saided they dont even have one goal to share anyway. Only dogogio.


After eating full shiken and drinking 4 guaranas, we left for site of owner. I telled her its my siteIamputting up some flats to add to my others I own here and there. I removed out and pretended to give instructions to foreman then left for room.


What happened in room, you have guessed right. 180 was putted and the leader, using the latest methodology aquired from Theuri of not pouring fast, (that of only inserting headand removing 9 times then inserting it all) the leader's 1k was thoroughly used to a maximum.
That of MPESA, I am taking her to Bon Marche this evening. She eats jogoo, then tree dangles. That one hundred airtime will be used well.

I am

Dagitari Onjohi

Snr Gyno & Supreme Leader

Pastor Wanjohi Wamagogo

After my taxi business drank water, I returned to practice what I had learned in college. Doing Ms word.


One afternoon, I was cooling bells in the office broke and refusing to know where to remove money of matubo, a phone came in from a factory in Mang'u that were experiencing problems with Ms word in their machines. They wanted me to go treat it asap. After we agreed on my charges, I called PM and telled her to abuse our local shop keeper, mama mboga and the landlord. I telled her that we will never sing problems again, atleast for a month and she should abuse them piu piu for talking bad coz their money was staying.


I climbed a mat until Thika and anotehr one until Mang'u, then walked another distance until factory, a distance that took an hour to walk, mind you, bodabodas had not arrived then, making me reach there past 5PM.


Although the job was of less than 20 munutes, as usual, with people who want to thief you by showing you that the work they are doing for you involves alot, I stayed on that job for more than two hours. Installing and reinstalling, doing dos commands, etc on their machines to appear like I was doing the most sophisticated job ever.


When I finished, instead of paying me cash, they gave me a cheque. Between me and poverty, I had only 400 bob remaining, which was enough though to reach me until Nairobi using matatus. I called PM and asked her if she has abused the people I asked her to. She saided all of them. I telled her to un-abuse because the money will only mature after 4 WORKING days, even if it was of the same bank. Then, even same banks didn't know that. 4 days had to finish.


By the time I left that place, darkness had started to enter. From where the factory was until where I was to catch a Mat, it was like 3-4 kilometers away.


I walked until a small shopping center where Matatu were taken. By then, darkness had already entered piu.


At the stage, I was the only person waiting for a matatu. Small, two suspicions characters who looked like they had just escaped from Kamiti came to me and asked me if I was waiting for a Matatu. I telled them nope, I was waiting for my uncle, just to lost them foots.


They went far far small and started talking to each other in ear. Head telled me that they were disusing how they will climb me and the only misunderstanding was who was to start climbing and after climbing, would cut me into pieces and who would throw me away.


I had been telled how that place was notorious with men climbing men. I had heard that if a car destroys near there at night and you are with a yellow yellow that can compete miss Kenya, they will look aside and almost vomit when they see her but on seeing a man, they do a hi five and tell you to down trouser.


After standing there for an hour, now approaching 8ish, I walked to a shop nearby and asked if matatus do pass at that time. The shopkeeper asked me where I was going. I saided Thika. He held chin, and after two minutes of feeling mercy for me, he telled me that after 7, it is easier for a trapper of Karumaindo to give you tiita for one week for free than a matatu to pass there at that time. He telled me that matatus were forced to abandon night travel by some characters that immigrated from Sodom and Gomorrah. He telled me the only town I can get rooms to sleep or matatus of luck is Kamurugu, a few kilometers away. Like Kayore until town.


There there, a story of 4 lepers as telled in the book of 2 Kings 7:4 came to my head. The lepers saided amongst themselves that if they stayed where they had been thrown to die because of catching leprosy, they will still die. If they return to their city that had been invaded by famine, they will still die. If they go to Syrians, the current ISIS, who were their sworn enemies and surrender, they will either be spared or be killed. They found that the only better option was ISIS. As lepers went, God made their kufiaring kufiaring sound like the whole Israel army was invading. The ISIS losted from their camp, leaving food for the lepers.


That is what I saided. If I say, my thutha is at risk from the two Kamiti escapees. If I walk small small, my thutha is at risk, but I can reach Kamurugu up up and book room with the 400 bob I had with me and leave tomorrow to cry for itself.


I walked for unmeasurable distance where I found that shopping center called Kamurugu. It was active small and didn't look more of Sodom like the other shopping centre.


At the stage, there were 3 men, also waiting for a Matatu. They didn't look like they had just comed from Kamiti, but they didn't look like they had come from Muirus either.


After standing there for 10 minutes, one guy came and asked me if I was waiting for a mat. I saided yes. He telled me that we take a taxi equal equal until Thika. He telled me we remove each 500 bob coz taxi was 2500. If I could do a miracle, it was to turn one of my bells to be a hundred bob so that I can add to the 400 bob I had. I "rejected" the offer.


After a moment, from far, a light of car showed. Small, it neared. When it passed small, I heard one man shout "Ni Njuguna, njuguna rugama njugunaaaa rugamaaaa!!!"


The car came to an instant halt.


The three men run towards the car. When I saw that, I run after them and overtook them. When back seat was opened, I was the first to enter the car. At the back seat, there were 2 other men.


As we entered, One guy saided "Njuguna, ona Pastor ndugatige" We satted on each other and fitted inside, 5 men at the back and two at the passager front seat.


I refused to know why he called me pastor, then remembered I had a small bag that their head telled them its a bible. I was happy for my bag.


As soon as Njuguna beated car fire, they started talking. Stories here and there. But there is one that made me shake bells like satan when one of the guy saided


"I niwona uria Mugweru angiatuanurithia? athire kumira ta kirimu. Kirima kia ngai piu" (You know Mugweru could have made us be beaten. He went to remove himself like a fool, a gods fool"


Njuguna the driver returned "Mugweru ndakuaguo mawira manene. Ucio ni usooo, kuguithia wira kuguithia to e guoya muno. . Eriga gutiga mashini kiharo rimue. Ta imagini" (Mugweru is not carried for big works, he is usoo. to make work fall to fall. He once left the "machine" at the field imagine"


Head there there telled me that they were talking about robbery incidents and life life, I knew I was given lift by robbers who have just removed from a scene.


There there, I started to compile my last prayer in heart incase the Flying squad were on their trail to make that car and all the occupants a sieve, then they say 8 robbers returned fire and fire was returned, thereby exchanging fire. I started to say in heart


"Father in heaven, forgive me all my sins, I repent all of them. I accept jesus as my lord and savior. Please accept my acceptance to join you from satans. Write my name in the book of life..."


Before I finish becoming saved, the car pulled at a bar in Thika town.. those wazee wazee bars. They telled me that since I cant get a mat to Nairobi at that time, we enter and eat njaro small until 3AM when matatus of shamba start going. We all entered.


They each asked for dogogio. When the waiter reached me and asked what I was drinking, I shouted in loud voice "Nipee white cup balidi"


When they heard that, they all kept quet, looked at me, then one of them saided "Haiiiyaaa ati pastor auga akunde mugima? pastor enderio piu" (waaa, even pastor has saided he drink one, sell to pastor piu piu" Everyone in the bar, including patrons we met there who did not know my pastory laughed, clapped and cheered as they welcomed me to satans.


Within two hours, I had dranked 5 white cups. Everyone was now drunk. one guy saided "Pastor tuhunjirie, tuhunjirie tume mukuru wa mehia" (Pastor preach to us, preach to us, we remove from the valley of sins)


I stooded up on the table and saided in loud voice


"Andu oothe me guku, murimo uria, na mukuru uria, thikiriiai ndumiriri ino. Ibuku ria ngai, Maundu ma Arawii, mirongo iri na ithatu, kamuhari kambere karauga atiri, na akoruo wina bibiria yaku, naba ya maguruine ni magana mana ma itano na ithatu, na tuthome.


Mundu wothe mumendereku nyeeee" na ni bibilia, ndihititie, "kana mucuthe wake nimucehe, ndakona uthamaki wa iguru ona hanini. On ahanini. Hareruya? Mundu mumendereku ndakona uthamaki wako?" They all returned wa iguru (the book of Deuteronomy 23:1 says, anyone who has crached bells, or his josto cut off will not see heaven with eyes). I asked them to answer me, that whose bells are crushed, will not see kingdom of where? they returned of heaven.


Na tuaikuruka hanini kamuhari ka mirongo itano na ithano kamuhari ga ikumi na imwe ni iraregana na maundu ma kuhutahutagio nyee ni mundu wanja. Irauga atiri, mundu wa nja angikuhutia nyee, urenge guoko kuu. (If you go down down small, Deut. 25:11, it has refused people of out from catching catching your bells. If she does, she is supposed to be cutted that hand that has catched your bells"


I preached and preached, quoting real verses they have never heard in churches. With every quote, dogogio was coming and promise of them coming to my church as lifetime members.


When morning reached, they dropped me until stage and paid for my fare.


Nu ugakoruo msafara ine? Dogogio ningagura woka na pipo igiri.



I am


Pastor Dagitari Onjohi
Snr. Gyno, River Road Inc.

Theuri Gets Caughted Life Life By PM Climbing Mboch.

There are ordinary men who have seen news and there is Theuri. If you are telled that you are inserted in Theuris shoe for a day, you would refuse to know completely.

I once telled you that even housegirls have holes. What I telld you was that there is nothing evil, or "low standard' bulls in climbing "unties". They also have holes and they are persons like any other although they cant keep their mouth shut once they onjesha you. But same way you can find it unethical to climb your PMs best friends, same should happen to your housegirl because of the repercussions if it bursts. Sometimes, cant be mended again.

On a day like today, last week, I was sitting with Theuri, MPESA and Akuku at Magomano eating meat of dipping. After finishing, Theuri inserted hands in pocket and only felt bells and no one was removing himself to buy dogogio. Theuri, when it comes to such a situation knows how to remove dogogio from you and even strangers seated next table without force.

All of a sudden, he held chin with both hands and started shaking head. I asked him what has cutted.

He looked at us and saided

"Nie uria nyonete huai, ngaria ukuru. Murauga Guarana ni kali. Ti kali ona hanini. Mama aranyitire life life shuma i thiine wa kairetu ka wira. Aramionire ikuo thiini mani" (Me what I saw last night, I will only talk about it when I grow old. They are saying Guarana is bad news. Its not bad even small, my PM catched me on top of our housegirl life life,. she witnessed tree inside with her own eyes)
When it comes to listening to good miseries like those, we all pulled chairs inside insde. Akuku called Mwai and telled him to sell us 3, 3 each.

After dogogio was asked, he removed hands from chin and continued

"Ta imajini PM waku akunyitite life life shuma i thiine. Ti kuiruo, na tigukora ugishokia mubuto, amikora i thiine hehu hehu. No ngaria ukuruine." (Imagine your PM catching you live, not when returning josto, and not ebing told, seeing it inside and dripping wet wet. I will talk when I grow old pris)

We asked him to tell us. He insisted he will say when he will grow old.

So that story can remove, MPESA called Mwai again and telled him to bring 4 4 and make sure that our table does not dry even small. Some people who were next table but throwing ear -dropping on our table called Mwai and telled him we be served two two each. Small, our table looked like we were at Club Samba or Harry's Tavern where lake siders frequent and not Magomano where one asks for refill after ensuring that there is zero content on the last bottle.

Now assured that he will walk home with knees, he cleared throught and saided.

"Nie tu Guarana tuu murauga turamatega kumatega, nie rekei ndimuire, tuu ndituonaga ngaumira ta rithathi" (Me, those tu Smirnoff ICE double black with Guarana that you are telling me it is sweeping sweeping them off their feet, I will be seeing it and removing like bullet)

To make the story short, Theuris PM does not like to hear smell of dogogio because she was removed from Satan long time ago.

On January this year, they wrote a new auntie job of house. This aunte when she came did not look anything, she did not have front or back. She did not know how dress like a city girl, she did not know how to apply lipstick and never shaved eyeris. She looked plain and pass.

The first quarter of this year, she had started to take shape. Her thuthas started to protrude as if she had borrowed a few secrets from Vera Sidika. For front, it had been there but before, she was letting them fall fall for not wearing bra, she was wearing vest. Her face started to smoothen and whiten. In short, she had taken all the necesary lessons from Vera

Second quarter, she had learnt how to dress like a true persons of Nairobi of up. Putting on tights, and very very tight removing her thutha even very well and showing camel toe even if you have closed eyes. She then learnt how to put bras that remove brookies out out unlike before when she was putting on vests putted by school girls.
Within a short time, Theuri started to eat his PM with her image. He had had not gotten a chance to eat personally because in his house, strictness is the other name of Theuris PM. An auntie is instructed to to keep 100 mts distance. Then, Theuri cant return home during the day. If he does, neibors call his PM and say they have seen his car. He had once been catched climbing auntie, thus the strictness.

Theuri spent this third quarter of the year drawing how to climb her.
The opportunities would present small, like Sunday when she was given off, but dogogio has not teacher. Instead of going out to climb her in room, he spendes time nursing hangovers.

Englishman once saided that if you want something soo bad, you will have it. Last week, he started talkign to her, sometimes even on phone and whatsapps. He asked the ka auntie when she was splitted. She telled him that since she was born, she has never been touched by even kipii, only one kApii that she was reading together at Thubiri secondary in Ngarua. She telled him that hers was soo intact because that boy only climbed one time and did not even finish splitting.

Hearing that and imagining that he will not use makobosto, he started to draw.

That day, on Friday, he had goned home early. His intention was not to climb her, it is the way one feels to go home early. When he was watching news of 7PM, the ka auntie passed and he saw those thuthats and brookies. His tree stretched and head telled him to draw how to climb that thing today today.

In his head, he telled himself that the only way to climb her was to make his PM sleep fofofo and in a way that she will not feel herself until tomorrow of that day.

He called a trapper he knows that puts medicine on people in bars. He wanted to buy medicine and put on his PM to sleep until tommorow. But as usual, trappers change numbers weekly, so he didnt get her on phone.
He then called me

"Mutongoria, ka Guarana uraugire marokia gukia?" (Leader, you saided Guarana is making them to ukia ukia)

I telled him like satan.

He asked me how many can make a persons refuse to know herself.

I telled him that I dont know about refusing to know oneself, all I know is that it triggers bean to start knocking knocking asking for a josto asap before they finish 6 pack.

In his head, he knew his PM cant drink dogogio even if what and the other option of putting her medicine that trappers use to spice dogogios of their victims was out of his reach.

His head telled him to give her PM Guarana secretly disguised as Redbull.

He went until Nakumatt and boughted 3 six packs of Guaranas and a Mzinga of Jameseon to drink in house. He then boughted a live jogoo to be slaughted inhouse to make his PM see that he is changing, now drinkign at home and even buying live Jogoo instead of those of GMOs.

After supper, he went to car and removed his Jameson, two packs of guaranas and two Redbulls.
He gave his PM one redbull and poured in glass. When she went to latrine, he dranked all Redbull in that glass and replaced it with Guarana.

He gave another two Guaranas to the house auntie to drink in bedroom.
When PM finished first glass, he poured another full on her glass and one tot of Jameson hidden inside. In her head, she was thinking she was drinking Redbull.

Her head started going round round and getting excited excited. Now her head getting confused, he gave her one Guarana life life and telled her its not dogogio, its another make of Redbull.

Small, she had dranked 6 or 7 Guaranas. Her bean started tickling tickling. she closed eye on Theuri. He refused to know why she was only closing one and not closing all of them and fall asleep. She telled Theuri they go sleep. theuri saided he wanted to finish his Jameson.

She went to bedroom and changed to night dress and returned to sitting room to see if Theuri will ukia but where. Theuri was still sipping sipping his Jameson slowly so that she gets bored and go to bed.

True to theuris prediction, she got bored coz Theuri was not reponding positively. She went to sleep.

Theuri followed her and touched her bean small and telled her to sleep small, he go down and finish his Mzinga, her tiita is not going anywhere. He had disturbed bees.
Theuri gave her another 20 Min. He returned up to see if she had sleeped. Since she did not respond when he called her (but was due to anger that he had refused to go to bed and give her bean some beatings), he assumed she had slept and will only feel herself tomorrow of that day.

Theuri returned to sitting in speed, added volume so that if PM wakes up small she would assume he is enjoying his Jameson and music.

After very small time, he tiptoed until Aunties bedroom.

Auntie had also taken 6 plus. Her bean was tickling until he could hear when he was at the sitting room.

Theuri removed all clothes comfortably as if he was at Karangi Bar and Restaurant's rooms. He then helped auntie remove the last piece of clothe she had in teh name of thuruari of strings. Then sucking sucking tu very very tight brokies and navel. But he is not like me, he cant suck tiita coz if it was me, I would have downed small until tiita. Her bean was ready, she did not want the upus of foreplay and was pulling theuri to come up.

Like he tells us, when climbing and you dont want to pour in ten seconds like yours truly, he inserted head, removed head, inserted and removed, counting 9 times, then pushing all josto and repeating the process.

He tells us that it is also very important to count. Insert head and remove, 9 times, on the tenth, insert all then remove. Repeat the process until that time you want to pour. He says the utam of persons, or where they feel all utams is in the surface not inside like what we see in porn. Persons can tell us about that.

In his head, he was thinking that he will get opposition of entering by tightness but where. Her pot was not as promised. She had telled him that she had only been climbed by a small boy but it looked like the hole was bombed by ISIS, Alshabaabs and Al Qaita forces combined to create entry and not an innocent form 4 pupil. Least, he thoughted, maybe the boy who splitted her used the whole of his hand instead of josto.

Inserting and returning and his Jameson raved head encouraging her say louder mbus as if they were in a privacy of a 9th floor rooms, he would encourage her to say mbus more so that he can also feel like a man. you know making someone who has super pot say mbus is not an easy feat. If you make such say mbus of true, you are a real bull.

As he was inserting only head and removing and counting to get maximum returns for making his PM drink Guarana and her volume of guarana in her stomach, he heard something hit him on his kneck and back like a trained karateka kick you would receive from Kivuti. He was then hit on head with an shoe by a wailing persons who sounded like his PM who was supposed to have refused to know herself sleeping in their beedroom. It was his PM. She was wailing and shouting as he thoroughtly battered both Theuri and the auntie.

He saw death with eyes.

He removed from inside the tiita and faced his PM with a tree facing almost up due to ukiaring.

Wewe!! let him refuse to know what to do. Josto was dripping dripping.. he had been caught and no removing from it.
He wiped eyes to see well, then looked at his PM. he then telled her while shaking like satan..

"Yani Wa Brayani, urauga tiwe uyu? maheni. maheni maheni maheni... nindaregaaaaa!! jehovaa... urauga tiwe uyu? uuuui jeso jeso ma ndukauge tiwe nguhaicaga... apanaaa cant be" (Wa Brian, are you sating you are not this girl here? its a lie, its a lie its a lie. Are you saying you are not this? jesooo dont say it was not you I was climbing)

He then turned on the auntie and joined his PM in beating her.
As he returned clothes, he telled PM

"Uyu rucio ndikamuone guku. Mubute wira, rucio aroke guthie" (This one, tommorow of this day, I dont want to see her here. Rub her work, let her leave in the morning)

He then looked at his PM and looked at the auntie...

"yani ndukanjire tiwe uyu uma gitanda giki? apanaaaa.. nevaaaa .... jehova jehova, niatia guthire? We utogtitiganiriire nawe gitanda? Nu undehire haha? " (Please dont tell me it was not you that was in this bed... what happened? The last time I left me and you in bed, how did I come here? )

When PM stopped wailing small, he telled her soothingly...
"Na ninguriraguo kai murigo ucio waku wneneha atia umuthi, murigo ngurigaguo wawika atia ma, kunenehaaa" (And I was refusing to klnow how your tiita has increased in size how, veeery buggy I tell you"

I cant remember how the story ended after this because all by ribs had dried to hear anything else.
But I guess the PM must have falled under the table for hearing that last statement that her would be competitor has ocean in place of tiita.


I am
Dagitari Onjohi

Snr. Gyno & Chief Student of IHORENTIPTIAJOTLOP (Inserting Head Only & Removing Nine Times Process Then Inserting All Josto To Last Longer )