When My Memory Does Not Serve Me Right

Whatever one says when he is dogogio can come to haunt you later when dogogio removes from head unless you are the kind that remembers what you say even when you are asleep.

On Friday, I happened to have entered a bar called Tribeka earlier that I am supposed to enter any bar of Nairobi of up because I was with one Silver Furaha Gaita. And because I wanted Martin Maura to share the pain I go through sitting at a bar with a persons that only drinks Delmonte, for reasons best known to her (though I suspect either she does not want to go to Satan some day or drinks Bluemoon while hiding, I hope Wangu Gaita will one day remove the secret)

I have no problem with Delmonte, its affordable anytime, but to have a persons remove well well when under the influence of Delmonte, is as impossible as convincing Safaricom to write off my Mshwari loan.

As I was drawing which lie to give her so that she can go back home after finishing one delmonte and wait for me until night because I wanted to roam small and onja onja something new in town, she received a phone call from another 'senior'. The senior removed a plot for her and the plot was to go to a Shineese place and eat rice with toothpick at 200 bob a plate. When she telled me that something had come up and she was not going to stay with me for the rest of the evening as she had promised, I knelt down. In her head, Silver was thinking that I was begging her to stay, but in head, I was thanking whoever called her. She telled me not to worry she will be there for me tomorrow of that day. I shedded small tear of crocodile and escorted her, still begging her to return, but only with mouth. But head was asking when we will leave each other so that my phone can start ringing and when I pick, I hear 'Sasa Onjohi, leta plot oiye, leo ni friday, there is no month and its on head"

After she left, I returned to Tribeka, then remembered that the price of one beer is 200 bob. One bottle only!. Since I was borned, I have never been drunked by beer of Nairobi of up. Not because it does not cook like of other places, or it has been added water, no. But the price of it cannot make me be drunk, even small, it only makes me angry. On average, for me to start removing stories in good English, I drink 9 beers. That is an average of 1800 in Nairobi of up before being stolen even one bottle. Even if someone is buying for me, I cant be drunk, reason, I will be feeling mercy for the buyer for spending too much on me. I would rather, if you are buying me, say 5 dogogios, give me half of what 5 beers cost there and let me leave small. If I return sober, I am of satan. I am not saying we dont drink there, we drink but we start in down town and when we get drunk, it means we are ripe for Nairobi of up.

Small, I stole myself until Nyanza house's Beams where Theuri, Mpesa and Akuku were drinking to prepare to destroy Nairobi of up later. I beated 8 beers and when I heard that I could now talk Queens English fluently, I returned to Nairobi of up.

I met Martin already overwhelmed by expensive beer, almost losting. I had telled him to join me in River road but he refused becaue he was waiting for some persons there. Behind him were some persons, sun small, and it looked like they also had good buyers in their table because the table had been destroyed. I looked at one and closed one eye. She smiled and head telled me to close the other one. She smilled even more. Head telled me that it was almost good time to strike but wait small until that time I saw the buyers were finishing money. That is the best time to hit, one good time and hard.

After some time, I saw the buyers were not getting tired. I moved closer to the one that was responding to my closing of eye and in ear and in good english, I saided "My name is Dr Wanjohi. I work with an NGO and I also do constrution of storey buildings of my own..... blah blah. all stories of giant.

She got impressed with my CV and telled me she was called ***deleted.

I telled her that her name and face reminded me of Gwyneth Paltrow. She asked who that was. I telled her never to mind. I telled her her that next day, I was going to Nakuru for Smirnoff experience which I was a lead organizer and if she minded going with us. She saided like satan. I borrowed her no and she telled me to give her mine so that she flash.

I pretended to remove business card from the wallet, then return wallet . But my intention was to show her that that wallet had something worth being stolen if she was of medicine.

I then read her my no and she flashed. Then her name showed on my phone as *** deleted. I showed her my phone that it was recognizing her name, even though she was a stranger to me. I telled he that my phone is very very tech, it tells me the name of who calls me, even if it is satan. I dont know where if gets names but it displays names like magician. She looked at me and looked at my phone and refused to know. She saided that I was a magician, but I reminded her I was a doc with a superior gadget that only me and Uhuru has it in this whole republic.

Stoeis small, of what she does and what I do and satan started to tell me to ask her if she will drink one, but head telled me not to ask because her buyers had not gotten tired.

Small, we shifted from there to Mojos because I wanted all those that knows me to see me in all bars of Nairobi of up so that they can know I also drink expensive beer. Small, I saw her text me 'What time do we meet tomorrow for nax?"

I texted back "mind joining us at Mojos we discuss further?"

She texted "where are you seated I come?

That text alone, I heard my tree hit my face until I fell backward. I texted her to come and soon, she was there.

When I looked at her figure and face again, I knew that if I allowed myself and her to remain there small, she will soon be history. She will either return to Tribeka or be stolen by Martin. She was like what he likes, malnourished small and chocolate.

I confused Martin and telled him that I am going to take that ka persons to another dude that I had promised to give her a persons in return for beer until morning and following day's beer in Nakuru. I telled him that since there she was, let me just take her.

The persons and I left for Psys. When we reached there, we beated one and small, head telled me that Mugithi makes persons ukia more than music of noise. Also, I wanted to show Theuri and Akuku that I am returning to when I was bad and they had telled me they are now destroyng money in Ngara. For some months now, they have been telling me that I am now downgetting senile because I dont drink with persons nowadays as I used to. And if I am seen with one, I lost and leave then in bars. I wantedt to prove them wrong.

It is these us, until Ngara's Grace Villa. Mugithi, it is that until 3. After that, what happened happened, I was drunk and I cant really give an accurate account of the events, but what I know is that I gave a solver 200 bob to go buy for me makobosto, but he did not give me change, I also know that zig slept inside, and it felt good, and it made the persons say mbus with no mathematics and I also know that I left 1k on the table for fare, and also remember being begged to stay a little longer.

Tomorrow of that day, we were supposed to be in Nax by 3 for Smirnoff experience. My phone had been off because of fire and sleep. When I switched it on, I was called satan and the trip was cancelled. I know I letted many people down, and I am sorry, things happen and satan is bad, not me.

But among the smses of abuses and others, was from the persons I was with.

"Hello Dr. Wanjohi. I hope you are good. You are truly a gentleman and a lovely man. Are we still going to Nakuru?"

I smilled because even my clients, they dont call me DOCTOR, they call me Dagitari, so I felt honoured for the first time in a long time. Although I did not return her sms, I felt good the whole evening.

Now today, I received a call from her. "Dr. Wanjohi how are you?"

I was abit amazed because its not easy to find a persons with so much disclipine. She hadnt called since sato morning and today, she did not risk to sms the Doctor. Doctors are senior people, you know.

I saided I am as good as fiddle.

She saided "This is ****, remember me"

I saided "How can I forget you. How are you ****"

know it is her. She saided, "I am ok. I still have your card, are you in the office?"

I refused to know because the last time I putted my business cards in my wallet was when I was selling GNLD stuffs when I had landed on foot. In the card, it was written I was a manager, just to raise my ego because in head, I was only a manager of cold. Which manager with no salary, only a title. But it makes those who dont know you fear you.

I thoughted maybe, I must have given out other peoples card, so I started to recount my very moment since I started talking to her. I then telled her I was in the office.

She asked "The same office you directed me on Friday?"

I refused to know which office I directed her, but in head, I thoughted I might have saided somewhere along Kimathi street. I have several places you can get me, and all are in River road, but even if I am dogogio how, I cant direct on to River road.

During lunch time, I telled the persons we can eat lunch at a place of her choice. She saided near our office. I got even more confused. I asked where, she saided Kosewe. Me and Kosewe are inlaws, only goes there once a month where thao drank water on one sitting but since I have not seen people quing soo much in ATMS, it means that the commissions have not been paid. All of a sudden, I was in upperhill and I am still there.

And because I want to maintain the CV I created on day one for some time since I want to Onja that thing when I am myself, I dont want to create impression that I lied to her. Who got an idea what giants stories I telled her? I want the CV to remain, I clkimb again and again until she will know that I am an ordinary Onjohi when we meet in River road swinging nyees there.

In the meantime, I might have given out Wanjohi Githae's coz his card is missing from my wallet. Sorry brother but if you receive a strange call, from persons with smooth voice, tell them to call you on your 'other' number or say you are my personal assistance.

I am Dagitari Onjohi,
Snr. Gyno.