How To Climb Even With Less Cash...

As i told you before, a person of out will never remove thuruari for you just because you look good. Persons of out never look for looks. Unless you are extremely extremely handsome and talk good English like some guys i see on Afro cinema. Even if you you look like an olangutan and you have cash, fame or have the fine things in life, thuruari will always be left at home. Persons that look good and have money and fame, like Jaguar have added advantage. Persons of out will refuse to know if they have good head if they ever come near him with thuruari, even the small ones some people call thong.

But for the scratchers of skin, there is a sure way to enter a person of out. And the sure way is to tell endless lies to them. Lie and lie until they believe it. I got all this from my good friends Theuri and Akuku. Within one hour with a person of out, Theuri will have laid so many lies until the person refuse to know why she came with thuruari. They are flattened so much until they put it on head.

I am not a good lair myself but once once, i have gotten thuruaris on head after spreading lies.

One day, on a Sunday, i was at home and my PM had fooled so much because i had gone home almost in the morning and falling falling down due to drunkenness.

At around mid day, one devil called me and said i had losted to much. This person looked like models, and used to walk like them, even on Tom mboya street. She looked so flexible, and malnourished in a way she can put legs at 180 degrees. When standing straight, a small gap is left where tiita sits. Such persons are full of sweetness. You can also climb them standing (karugamo).

She had, on several occasions refused to put it on head. She used to tell us that she had a boyfriend and cannot mix for him. Despite telling her that it is not soap to finish, or it will not write on tiita that it had been climbed, she refused to feel me.

After talking small, I told her that I had ukiad like Satan. She said that she had also ukiad too much but had one stress that was disturbing her. She told me that she had a chama meeting in the evening and they were required to remove two k and she had zero. She told me that if i lent her the money, tiita will be all mine.

In my pocket, i had three thousand, front and back. I told the person to meet me in Magomano at one because i was willing to assist her. I told her that i have even called Maina of butchery to put meat of burnt for the two of us.

This person had earlier, on many occasions refused to remove for me. We had gone out many times but when i tried to give her beer to make her refuse to know herself, she used to get clever and hepa us.

When she came, she ordered those beers of cans that come two two. As if i had twenty thousand bob with me, we beat water until Ksh. 1,900 had dranked water. Now, between me and poverty, i was remaining Kshs. 1,100 bob. My tree was standing because once once, she was touching touching it and i was, in turn touching touching her thighs small small. I was, however, refusing to know what to do because the good rooms in town goes for a K plus. I was thinking of talking to Maina of butchery to talk to people of room of Magomano and tell them that i will bring money tomorrow but then, remembered that their rooms arent the best. If you take a person there, she can even refuse to apart her legs, even if she had come with no thuruari.

It is then that i remembered Bilmas. Bilmas have two types of rooms. One, no latrine and bathroom inside, only bed and those are cheaper, goes for 600 bob. Those with latrine and bathroom inside goes for a K. I dragged her to Bilmas and like a good climber, I removed all her clothes one by one until only thuruari remained. I took thuruari on side and started to suck tiita. I sucked tiita until she poured. (Theuri says sucking tiita or fingering someone is same as eating bila makobosto. Maybe you should educate me on that because it scared the hell out of me)

I ramnyad things until 6ish. The person gave me so good, throwing legs in the air because she was happy with my eating habits and techniques and again, her stress of money had vanished. Based on her msaying of mbus, it looked like she had never had someone suck tiita for so long until she poured like that. On that day, she poured like three times.

After i finished climbing, I pushed her to her stage, No. 23 for Buru. Now, her stress had been transferred to me. My heart was beating even in ear because i was refusing to know what to do. All body parts, including my toes and nyees were shaking because i did not know what to tell the person.

The person's extreme excitement was making me feel sad, bad and angry with myself. She appeared was so happy and joked all the way. I tried to force myself to laugh but where.

I was trying to do mathematics of how much to give her from the 5 socks that had remained. There was not way i could give her all the 5 sock because i had to climb a mat back to Kinoo. After much consultation, I decided to give her 200 bob. Before removing the money from my pocket, i was counting 123 to prepare myself how to start and what to say to her.

When we reached KTDA where people climb mats for Buru, I finally filled myself 1234...started: " Ehh.. Shiru, unajua aje? Nika kitaumana small. Shika hii mia biri, kesho niko na pesa kama ya kuibiwo. Hata sio elfu biri nitakupea. Nitakupea elfu tano. Ni vile...."

I did not even finish giving the explanation due to the look I was getting from the person. She did not even take the two so. In loud voice, she said me "Whaaaat? You are a dog", then climbed a mat. All people around there looked at me and refused to know. Some started laughing at me, maybe thinking i was borrowing things on stage. To avoid more embarrassment, i removed from that place as fast as i could and climbed a mat to Kinoo.

From that day, the person never spoke to me again for sometime. But another climber never dislike each other. 6 months later, she started looking for me. Although i had heard with rumour how she had she had destroyed my name to her pals, saying I am of childish because I dont remove, i decided to forgive.

Akuku, in the meantime was trying to wrestle the person from me. He managed to climb her, he confessed to me later. Akuku is of devil.He has some peculiar habit with people's persons. If he sees a person looks like sun and is new, yellow yellow, malnourished and loves money in some extra ordinary manner, he tells the person he will be removing anything she wants, including paying her house and doing shopping. But woe unto them. Yes, first day, he will remove, but once thuruari is out, he blacklists the person and never talks to them again.

Have a nice weekend and dont forget to eat with makobosto. And if you want to be part of the stag, you can hit me on my email....

I remain,

Wanjohi wa Kigogoine