Theuri Gets Caughted Life Life By PM Climbing Mboch.

There are ordinary men who have seen news and there is Theuri. If you are telled that you are inserted in Theuris shoe for a day, you would refuse to know completely.

I once telled you that even housegirls have holes. What I telld you was that there is nothing evil, or "low standard' bulls in climbing "unties". They also have holes and they are persons like any other although they cant keep their mouth shut once they onjesha you. But same way you can find it unethical to climb your PMs best friends, same should happen to your housegirl because of the repercussions if it bursts. Sometimes, cant be mended again.

On a day like today, last week, I was sitting with Theuri, MPESA and Akuku at Magomano eating meat of dipping. After finishing, Theuri inserted hands in pocket and only felt bells and no one was removing himself to buy dogogio. Theuri, when it comes to such a situation knows how to remove dogogio from you and even strangers seated next table without force.

All of a sudden, he held chin with both hands and started shaking head. I asked him what has cutted.

He looked at us and saided

"Nie uria nyonete huai, ngaria ukuru. Murauga Guarana ni kali. Ti kali ona hanini. Mama aranyitire life life shuma i thiine wa kairetu ka wira. Aramionire ikuo thiini mani" (Me what I saw last night, I will only talk about it when I grow old. They are saying Guarana is bad news. Its not bad even small, my PM catched me on top of our housegirl life life,. she witnessed tree inside with her own eyes)
When it comes to listening to good miseries like those, we all pulled chairs inside insde. Akuku called Mwai and telled him to sell us 3, 3 each.

After dogogio was asked, he removed hands from chin and continued

"Ta imajini PM waku akunyitite life life shuma i thiine. Ti kuiruo, na tigukora ugishokia mubuto, amikora i thiine hehu hehu. No ngaria ukuruine." (Imagine your PM catching you live, not when returning josto, and not ebing told, seeing it inside and dripping wet wet. I will talk when I grow old pris)

We asked him to tell us. He insisted he will say when he will grow old.

So that story can remove, MPESA called Mwai again and telled him to bring 4 4 and make sure that our table does not dry even small. Some people who were next table but throwing ear -dropping on our table called Mwai and telled him we be served two two each. Small, our table looked like we were at Club Samba or Harry's Tavern where lake siders frequent and not Magomano where one asks for refill after ensuring that there is zero content on the last bottle.

Now assured that he will walk home with knees, he cleared throught and saided.

"Nie tu Guarana tuu murauga turamatega kumatega, nie rekei ndimuire, tuu ndituonaga ngaumira ta rithathi" (Me, those tu Smirnoff ICE double black with Guarana that you are telling me it is sweeping sweeping them off their feet, I will be seeing it and removing like bullet)

To make the story short, Theuris PM does not like to hear smell of dogogio because she was removed from Satan long time ago.

On January this year, they wrote a new auntie job of house. This aunte when she came did not look anything, she did not have front or back. She did not know how dress like a city girl, she did not know how to apply lipstick and never shaved eyeris. She looked plain and pass.

The first quarter of this year, she had started to take shape. Her thuthas started to protrude as if she had borrowed a few secrets from Vera Sidika. For front, it had been there but before, she was letting them fall fall for not wearing bra, she was wearing vest. Her face started to smoothen and whiten. In short, she had taken all the necesary lessons from Vera

Second quarter, she had learnt how to dress like a true persons of Nairobi of up. Putting on tights, and very very tight removing her thutha even very well and showing camel toe even if you have closed eyes. She then learnt how to put bras that remove brookies out out unlike before when she was putting on vests putted by school girls.
Within a short time, Theuri started to eat his PM with her image. He had had not gotten a chance to eat personally because in his house, strictness is the other name of Theuris PM. An auntie is instructed to to keep 100 mts distance. Then, Theuri cant return home during the day. If he does, neibors call his PM and say they have seen his car. He had once been catched climbing auntie, thus the strictness.

Theuri spent this third quarter of the year drawing how to climb her.
The opportunities would present small, like Sunday when she was given off, but dogogio has not teacher. Instead of going out to climb her in room, he spendes time nursing hangovers.

Englishman once saided that if you want something soo bad, you will have it. Last week, he started talkign to her, sometimes even on phone and whatsapps. He asked the ka auntie when she was splitted. She telled him that since she was born, she has never been touched by even kipii, only one kApii that she was reading together at Thubiri secondary in Ngarua. She telled him that hers was soo intact because that boy only climbed one time and did not even finish splitting.

Hearing that and imagining that he will not use makobosto, he started to draw.

That day, on Friday, he had goned home early. His intention was not to climb her, it is the way one feels to go home early. When he was watching news of 7PM, the ka auntie passed and he saw those thuthats and brookies. His tree stretched and head telled him to draw how to climb that thing today today.

In his head, he telled himself that the only way to climb her was to make his PM sleep fofofo and in a way that she will not feel herself until tomorrow of that day.

He called a trapper he knows that puts medicine on people in bars. He wanted to buy medicine and put on his PM to sleep until tommorow. But as usual, trappers change numbers weekly, so he didnt get her on phone.
He then called me

"Mutongoria, ka Guarana uraugire marokia gukia?" (Leader, you saided Guarana is making them to ukia ukia)

I telled him like satan.

He asked me how many can make a persons refuse to know herself.

I telled him that I dont know about refusing to know oneself, all I know is that it triggers bean to start knocking knocking asking for a josto asap before they finish 6 pack.

In his head, he knew his PM cant drink dogogio even if what and the other option of putting her medicine that trappers use to spice dogogios of their victims was out of his reach.

His head telled him to give her PM Guarana secretly disguised as Redbull.

He went until Nakumatt and boughted 3 six packs of Guaranas and a Mzinga of Jameseon to drink in house. He then boughted a live jogoo to be slaughted inhouse to make his PM see that he is changing, now drinkign at home and even buying live Jogoo instead of those of GMOs.

After supper, he went to car and removed his Jameson, two packs of guaranas and two Redbulls.
He gave his PM one redbull and poured in glass. When she went to latrine, he dranked all Redbull in that glass and replaced it with Guarana.

He gave another two Guaranas to the house auntie to drink in bedroom.
When PM finished first glass, he poured another full on her glass and one tot of Jameson hidden inside. In her head, she was thinking she was drinking Redbull.

Her head started going round round and getting excited excited. Now her head getting confused, he gave her one Guarana life life and telled her its not dogogio, its another make of Redbull.

Small, she had dranked 6 or 7 Guaranas. Her bean started tickling tickling. she closed eye on Theuri. He refused to know why she was only closing one and not closing all of them and fall asleep. She telled Theuri they go sleep. theuri saided he wanted to finish his Jameson.

She went to bedroom and changed to night dress and returned to sitting room to see if Theuri will ukia but where. Theuri was still sipping sipping his Jameson slowly so that she gets bored and go to bed.

True to theuris prediction, she got bored coz Theuri was not reponding positively. She went to sleep.

Theuri followed her and touched her bean small and telled her to sleep small, he go down and finish his Mzinga, her tiita is not going anywhere. He had disturbed bees.
Theuri gave her another 20 Min. He returned up to see if she had sleeped. Since she did not respond when he called her (but was due to anger that he had refused to go to bed and give her bean some beatings), he assumed she had slept and will only feel herself tomorrow of that day.

Theuri returned to sitting in speed, added volume so that if PM wakes up small she would assume he is enjoying his Jameson and music.

After very small time, he tiptoed until Aunties bedroom.

Auntie had also taken 6 plus. Her bean was tickling until he could hear when he was at the sitting room.

Theuri removed all clothes comfortably as if he was at Karangi Bar and Restaurant's rooms. He then helped auntie remove the last piece of clothe she had in teh name of thuruari of strings. Then sucking sucking tu very very tight brokies and navel. But he is not like me, he cant suck tiita coz if it was me, I would have downed small until tiita. Her bean was ready, she did not want the upus of foreplay and was pulling theuri to come up.

Like he tells us, when climbing and you dont want to pour in ten seconds like yours truly, he inserted head, removed head, inserted and removed, counting 9 times, then pushing all josto and repeating the process.

He tells us that it is also very important to count. Insert head and remove, 9 times, on the tenth, insert all then remove. Repeat the process until that time you want to pour. He says the utam of persons, or where they feel all utams is in the surface not inside like what we see in porn. Persons can tell us about that.

In his head, he was thinking that he will get opposition of entering by tightness but where. Her pot was not as promised. She had telled him that she had only been climbed by a small boy but it looked like the hole was bombed by ISIS, Alshabaabs and Al Qaita forces combined to create entry and not an innocent form 4 pupil. Least, he thoughted, maybe the boy who splitted her used the whole of his hand instead of josto.

Inserting and returning and his Jameson raved head encouraging her say louder mbus as if they were in a privacy of a 9th floor rooms, he would encourage her to say mbus more so that he can also feel like a man. you know making someone who has super pot say mbus is not an easy feat. If you make such say mbus of true, you are a real bull.

As he was inserting only head and removing and counting to get maximum returns for making his PM drink Guarana and her volume of guarana in her stomach, he heard something hit him on his kneck and back like a trained karateka kick you would receive from Kivuti. He was then hit on head with an shoe by a wailing persons who sounded like his PM who was supposed to have refused to know herself sleeping in their beedroom. It was his PM. She was wailing and shouting as he thoroughtly battered both Theuri and the auntie.

He saw death with eyes.

He removed from inside the tiita and faced his PM with a tree facing almost up due to ukiaring.

Wewe!! let him refuse to know what to do. Josto was dripping dripping.. he had been caught and no removing from it.
He wiped eyes to see well, then looked at his PM. he then telled her while shaking like satan..

"Yani Wa Brayani, urauga tiwe uyu? maheni. maheni maheni maheni... nindaregaaaaa!! jehovaa... urauga tiwe uyu? uuuui jeso jeso ma ndukauge tiwe nguhaicaga... apanaaa cant be" (Wa Brian, are you sating you are not this girl here? its a lie, its a lie its a lie. Are you saying you are not this? jesooo dont say it was not you I was climbing)

He then turned on the auntie and joined his PM in beating her.
As he returned clothes, he telled PM

"Uyu rucio ndikamuone guku. Mubute wira, rucio aroke guthie" (This one, tommorow of this day, I dont want to see her here. Rub her work, let her leave in the morning)

He then looked at his PM and looked at the auntie...

"yani ndukanjire tiwe uyu uma gitanda giki? apanaaaa.. nevaaaa .... jehova jehova, niatia guthire? We utogtitiganiriire nawe gitanda? Nu undehire haha? " (Please dont tell me it was not you that was in this bed... what happened? The last time I left me and you in bed, how did I come here? )

When PM stopped wailing small, he telled her soothingly...
"Na ninguriraguo kai murigo ucio waku wneneha atia umuthi, murigo ngurigaguo wawika atia ma, kunenehaaa" (And I was refusing to klnow how your tiita has increased in size how, veeery buggy I tell you"

I cant remember how the story ended after this because all by ribs had dried to hear anything else.
But I guess the PM must have falled under the table for hearing that last statement that her would be competitor has ocean in place of tiita.


I am
Dagitari Onjohi

Snr. Gyno & Chief Student of IHORENTIPTIAJOTLOP (Inserting Head Only & Removing Nine Times Process Then Inserting All Josto To Last Longer )