It is evident that to get a good person of out that can make a pm these days in Nairobi is like saying we have oil in Isiolo. Not oil in pumps, but underground. Somehow, there is and somehow, there is not. To get is the problem. That is why i feel so much for young people searching for pms. Their tiitas look like they have share button and like button. Anyone can like or share their tiitas.
I am not trying to paint a dim picture here, but I have been around for sometimes and i can attest that persons of nowadays are not what we used to have during our times. I cry for the young men because most persons of this days, majority walk with thuruari on head. And those that dont walk with thuruari on head put it on head as soon as two or there black ices passes through their throat.
The other day, I saw a person that looked like sun. You cant even imagin. She was walking limping. When i asked why she was limping, I was told in ear "karaguriiruo njohi ira ni mundu, arafu aragakua. ona gatiraririkana nu. Kahuritwo bobo cia kwa nyeni' (She was boughted water jana by a person, then he carried her. She does not even know the person.
During our 'youth', persons that used to put rice on peoples drinks were old momos, exclusively at citrus and sabina joy. This days, persons that put medicine all look like sun, and majority of them are college and university pupils, and the rest, work in salons. And to make it worse, they are all persons of people. There is a man somewhere that says, 'my girlfriend is a pupil at xyz uni"
I am saying this because, even those that were married yesterday, they dont say so in public.
This lack of announcing has put some of us in situations, we would not ordinarily ever want to find ourselves in. I told you that i cant climb someone's pm knowingly. Their lack of announcing has led me several times to find myself in the middle of their legs. Who to blame?
This is how it happened. As you all know, most of my activities are centered along rifa rori.
As i told you before, there is a golden rule when a new person is written job in those stalls. The golden rule is, you jump on a new person so fast before cobwebs have been removed. Fast enough before she knows that they can make so much money from men before removing thuruari.
You see all those persons that looks like sun in those stalls? When they first reported to those exhibitions, they looked like something funny. Putting on sports shoes with skirts, putting thurari that show line, not knowing that Redds is beer and also, believing that wakigogoine can keep you.
I remember one person Theuri blames me upto today for spending a whooping 8k on clads alone. She looked like sun from far, but shags mundu, especially when it came to dressing. I took him to a place and convinced him to buy her some nice clads (from a person i wanted to climb). After he bought, he only ate her for two times. After that, men had started to queue, showing her more happy than Theuri even did. As we are talking, she is now a pm to someone, but she still shares her things with friends and mutual friends.
The other disadvantage of letting a new persons stay long enough before climbing in rifa rori is, they will be told by other persons who've been there long enough that you are of childish. I told you of one person that called her friends to come meet her 'man', none other than yours truly. The persons laughed on the side when they were shown me because they knew me like palm win. Tomorrow, they asked her "Ati, uratuirire ucio murari nake nu? (Who did you tell that person you were with is?). The person said 'some sweet guy called wanjohi. Her new found love, a sweet man that is going to even set a shop for her once she learns how to do business in exhibitions". They were being collected under the table laughing. They then told her "uui. wi thutha ta mbathi ya riakanau. ucio ni mumaraya wa mundurume. Aingira karima kau gaku ndukamuona ringi " (uui, you are back like Riakanu buses. That is a trapper of man. Once he enters your hole, you will never see him again). Now, to avoid such situation, the best thing is to pounce on a person long before your name is destroyed.
That is why when this person was written, I pounced on her so fast before she was told I am a trapper of man. She looked like sun. Tall, just a little malnourished, thutha very good, yellow yellow and to cap it all, yes, a Cambodian.
First first days, i closed one eye on her. She smiled. Same week, i behaved like a very good man and boughted her lunch two days. chips and chicken from Kenchick, not "Munyiri ships and shicken along Luthuri". Same week, I told her that I wanted to take her somewhere, she will eat and drink until she felt enough. Its not easy to say no to the leader especially where you will eat and drink.
On sato, my tree standed the whole day, just by looking at the person and believing that my tree will sleep inside her tiita. In the evening, I hooked up with Theuri and the crew. As usual, Theuri has one with no teeth. It kind gave me fear because, I feared he might snatch her. But I was more confortable because, she did not understand or speak Greek. Theuri looks on the other side if a person does not understand Greek because he says he does not like speaking english or sheng.
This time, we did not go to magomano. We went to Grace villa when a guy that usd to sing Mugithi with Piano. As we gave the person water, i realized that she was not drinking fast enough as i would have wanted. You know how we laugh on the side when person start refusing to know themselves. Refusing to know means thuari on head. For you to be guaranteed thuari on head, you must feed the person enough water.
Just before 11, she told me that she does not like getting late. This told me that she does not sleep out, which meant that she does not get climbed often. I felt good.
She asked me to drop her off to her hood in (deleted).
We walked to the car, same spot i told you before, where police wait for people that climbanas in the car. Once in the car, we started to talk small as I tried to persuade her to remain another one hour or so. I putted car on fire and before driving off, I pulled the person to kiss small. the person was like waiting for that. We kissed and kissed until i switched off the engine.
Once in the car, I tried to look calm as my tree started to test the strenth of my zip, just by imagining that there was some possibilities of me climbing this person. Without uttering a word, I ran my fingers over her hand , just to test waters if she will get on heat or rather, if she has thuauri on head.
As we kissed, she puled herself to me and kissed me passionately. She took her hand and put it on tree, rubbing it small small and feeling the zig zag nature of it. I then pulled her close to me and ran my hand her thigh and unzipped her trouser, then forced my hand to feel if tiita was wet. Involuntary, or rather by reflex action, she pulled her trouser and thuruari and threw them on back seat.
There there, i jumped on her brookie and started to suck as the other hand worked on her tiita. When inserting finger, i felt kinda resistance. In my head, it telled me that she had only been climbed once by a little boy.
I then reached down and flipped the knob that slid the seat back far enough, then climbed over and positioned myself above her. She opened her legs, putting one leg in the driver's seat and hanging the other one on the dashboard.
Since seeing tiita is believing, it is only when she putted legs like that tht I rolled down makobosto, and believing she was a virgin, I told her in ear, "sweerie, its going to hurt small, but i will do my best not to hurt you. Your kamonie appears so small" She did not appear interested in my stories , she just looked like she was dying to have me insert my josto on her kamonie.
On inserting my tree, I felt it go inside without any resistance. I refused to know how a tiita that had only been climbed by a small boy could allow my zig zag enter with no resistance. I however told myself that she was extremely lubricated, that was the reason.
I pumped and pumped but the beer in me and her many waters made my tree resistance to any utam coming from her tiita. Immediately, devil entered me and whispered to me "burst makobosto deliberatively, after all, it was long since she was climbed".
I stopped pumping and kissed her small. I then, i said I dont listed to devil. To burst is not good. I better ask for permission to remove. I told her in ear "Swirrie, nitoe cd?"
The person did not even waste one second. She replied 'Unaona aje?" I said 'naona nitoe"."toa basi" she replied .
Before she finished saying that, I removed makobosto and threw them on dashboard. I know most of out are saying "how could you?". I talk the truth. Where i dint remove, i say i didnt remove. Where it burst, i say it burst. Where i pour fast, i say so. Its wrong but I removed.
I then returned my tree, slowly on her tiita until all of it finished inside. I drilled and drilled. Before, she was not saying loud mbus, only small fake ones. Now, she started to say mbus in loud voice "uuuii aaaahhh sssss uuuu nanguvu.. waaa aaaa".
I ramnyad person until she poured, long before i did. After she poured, i forced myself to pour and poured. For those refusing to know how to force yourself how to pour, there are two ways. One, put a picture of a person that looks like sun. It does not work always though. The other way, is to stretch yourself, very hard, all body, as if you are looking for muscle puul. Pour will come out, guaranteed.
After I poured, I started to regret how I ramnyad like that. But still, something in my head was telling me that she had only been ramnywad long time ago.
After that, we drove to her hood. When we reached near her home, I first refused to know because , the flats i was dropping her lives policemen. I told myself that, maybe, it was her dad who was a police, or she was staying with a relative that is police. I hardly ask a person of out where and with who she stays with, rest, she tells me she stays alone and has not paid her rent. Its better not to ask than be sorry.
Following weekend, she told me that she liked my zig zag and wanted to taste it again. This time, I climbed in a room and with makobosto. True story. Although she refused to know why, I had started seeing her talk and smile to male customers and others. After i finished first joti, now relaxing to see it any miracle can come and i see second joti, I asked her if her dad is a police. She said no. She asked why. I said its becuase where i dropped her, it is police that lives there. She laughed and said "ni mzee. tunakaa huko na mzee" . Since my treewas started to regain standing ovation, I asked "What? are you married? At such young age?" She laughed and said she has a baby that is 7 years.
Later, I was tempted to eat again, until she started clicking on share button to many others. Later, her hubby removed her from exhibition and took her to college. I dont know where she went, but she is still clicking share, i guess.
That is why I refuse to know, this persons of these days, who go help them well well? Complete well well. A beg.
I remain,
Wanjohi wa Kigogoine
hahahahahahahahahahahahha crazy man,until my tree has stand
ReplyDeletewawawaaa
ReplyDeleteno nguria mundu
shares her things with friends and mutual friends. hahaha
ReplyDeleteHahahaha. Me to i dnt ask who thy stay with. U might pay rent! Othws u dont hav good head.how u remove makobosto?
ReplyDelete"When inserting finger, i felt
ReplyDeletekinda resistance. In my head, it
telled me that she had only
been climbed once by a little
boy." hahaha
Modo....mkambodia
ReplyDeleteneva dis Isiolo(read Resort City) its ours we love it.
ReplyDeletePerson of out here even dnt ask:covered in blak bt behind showing!
Its either someone else wrote this or wanjohi has been attendin English lessons. The grammar today is not wanjohi's trademark.
ReplyDeleteI have read a few articles in this mad man's blog . I have come to a simple conclusion:
ReplyDelete1) wanjohi's stuff is good to read, even thought he is a sick man that needs help. Sucking any titian out there (eeeooohhh, yuck!), bragging about his zig zag like a teenager (you call that anything? Some of us pack real stuff)
2) for e rest of you who are addicted to all this stuff, you are all losers.
Idiots
You have nothing better to do
You are of devil
People of silly
Watu nyee
Conokai
one pple who come n call wanjohis fans loosers n idiots is a kihii n needs to get a life.. 2
ReplyDelete2. Wanjohi we nawe niuratwikariria story.. Tiga kuoga tiita muno ugatuheaga ngano cia irimu(story of giants) maingi.
story true but very sad. this generation needs redemption, otherwise pms sharing is bad for society !
ReplyDeletehye that person up thea has said something but you of devil too you are removing kerergucu on our eyes forgeting the logs in yours? he he bt this you'll like,......"Their tiitas look like they have share button and like button. Anyone can like or share their tiitas."..
ReplyDeletewanjohi you are devil but we like ur sense of humour
ReplyDeleteths idiot callng us idiots tht we got nthng bttr to do surly yeye anafanya nini si uve read so include urslf in tht list & stop bragng yet uve one lyk a small boy or are u the huzzy of tht chck tht wanjohi climbed; nkttako
ReplyDeleteAdu a cambodia ni ariku?? Jirani diowi
ReplyDeletehttp://mavuno.wordpress.com/2012/02/26/friends-with-benefits/
ReplyDeleteHaiya!!! This story made my my long clit to slip out of the thong and is rubbing on to the jeans as i walk
ReplyDeletehttp://vitukali.com
Check it out
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