Where Not To Keep Makobosto.

It is suicidal to climb unmeasured persons without makobosto, but it is treason to forget makobosto in your pockets. If you have to climb persons, always use makobosto and if you have a PM, there are rules to be followed on how to store them. If you are married, and you climb people, you might want to read further, because it can happen to you. You might also need a pen and paper if you want to take notes.

Though it is not good to rejoice at problems of your friends, I rejoiced on this one because the person in question originally belonged to me.

There is this person who owns an Mpesa shop in town. I started stories of giants of how I could help her expand her business by injecting small capital, to be repaid in 2030. The person looked at me and told me "wandora wona hana fala e? ungiona muiretu uretikia ati story taicwo ciaku, ni fala. Nie ngereire maundu ine mainge muno wona nginyite haha. Henetio ni arume ngagia hakiri. We njita tunyue njohi na nyama no maundu ma kuhe mbeca tiga" (You have looked at me you saw a fala? If you see any person falling on those stories is a fala. I have passed through so many things, I have been cheated by men, oh, I will give you money, until i grew brains. You call me we drink beer and meat, but stories of giving me money, leave).

I told her I meant what I said, and infact, I even wanted her to born me a baby of boy. She said she is mature enough, to put thuruari on head is not news and should never be news. But stories more than that, she does not want because she hates getting false hopes. She read me until I gave myself shuguli.

In the evening, now assured of muclimbano, I called her to come to Ngara where I was with Akuku and Theuri, Mpesa. When she came, she found me drinking Tusker but because I wanted to appear more sophisticated, I changed to Tusker Malt. She ordered for redwine, though later small, I convinced her to take Caprice instead (because its cheaper to me). From there, beer started to flow, all rounds coming from Akuku. Small time, I started to refuse to know myself.

The bad thing about refusing to know myself is that my devils always shows me to go home, even if I am with a person that looks like two suns.

And Akuku since he knows that, continued to feed me more and more Malts, all on his bill. Akuku and Theuri are like from the same stomach, although they are not related. Their behaviours are like they are from the same stomach.

Now small time, they struck a deal. I cant remember how I left there, but i remember passing by my homepub. I was told that I bought people drinks, even strangers. Tomorrow of that day, I was given a bill of 1800 bob.

Tomorrow of that day, Akuku called us and told us that he has denounced the devil, the persons, people that are friendly to what mucukani likes and all drinks that are frothy.

He told us that when I losted, he was now left with my person. He went to the counter and bought two packets of makobosto. He bought two because in his head, it told him that because to her thutha, and sun like face, and godly behaviour, he will climb a minimum of 5 Jotis. They were well wrapped with an old newspaper. At Bee centre rooms, he was asked his name. He said Maina. George Maina. Akuku, like me, answers to so many names. Some people call him symo, Masha, Akuku and the butcher people call him 3/4 for his fondness of 3/4 meat.

Inside room, he removed one packet of makobost and returned the balance in his pocket. Because he was equally drank, he ramnyad the person one joti only, like what majority of us do. One joti is enough, no need to kill yourself with two or three. The person tried to have him eat another one but it refused to stand. He hurriedly dressed up, dropped the 'hanging' person at her house and went home.

In the morning, at his house, he was woken up by kicks and wails from his pm. When he opened his eyes, his PM was holding a packet of makobosto and a receipt for room, and keys, with very bid keyholder of wood, with no. 29 on it.

He looked at all refused to know what to do. He rose up, thinking of running away for good because death was nigh. Quick thinking, he looked at them and asked his PM 'ici ciauma ku?" (Where did that come from?) Wailing, she said "mumaraya uyu riu ona urenda kunyonia ati kuria uma kuhura umaraya waku? Nie urenda kunjuraga niki? (You trapper, you want to show me where you are now trapping e? You want to kill me ?)

akuku calmly said 'uka thii. niki?

Whatever he tried to say did not make sense. And she could neither listen. The PM could hear nothing. He told Akuku they must go to Bee centre and verify who was at that room. Akuku refused small but when he saw his pm was creating more commotion, he refused what to do. He putted on a clothes and walked with his pm towards the gate. His PM all this long was shouting obscenities at him and wailing loudly. When he saw he was getting embarased too much, he tried to walk faster. His pm realised he was running away. She run after him and held him by the jacket. He freed himself by removing the jacket and run away as fast as he could.

I dont know how the story went after that because when he was narrating that story to us, all our ribs had dried because of laughter and we were all under the table. I will get how it ended today in the evening.

Lesson learnt.

That is what happens when:

You steal a person that does not belong to you
You keep makobosto in your pocket
You keep a receipt of room in your pocket.

To avoid such:

Never keep makobosto in your pocket. When I BUY, I hold them with hands, or I give the person to carry.
Never give your real identity in room. If they insist on names, you can give out a fake name.
If they pass the receipt to you, do not touch it. Leave it at the counter, or take and tear it.
Do not, and I repeat, do not take room keys. leave them at the door. some rooms tells you to drop the key at the reception. Refuse. Tell them to pick it themselves.

I hope I have helped you.

PS: My clinic is now open. The others will be opened once NHIF deposits the money in my account. I am open everyday from 8 pm. I treat persons only, diseases like lack of boy child, failure to get orgasms and related.


I remain

Dr. Wanjohi
Snr Gyno
Klinix International
River Road.